My name is Michell Rosillo and I just found your site searching for an LGTB community who’s willing to help and support. I’m 17 years old and I consider myself a transsexual, no one of my friends or family knows about it because I feel afraid to come out. My family is very traditional and I don’t know what to do about it since I’ve been trying to hide my feelings for so long; but now I feel like I can’t keep it anymore. So far I’ve been learning alot about sex reassignment and every time I look up for all the solutions I feel so depressed because I haven’t come out the closet and my family doesn’t have money to afford any surgeries. This seems like a huge problem to me, and no one seems to understand, sometimes I have thoughts of kill myself because I think that I will never be able to make my dreams come true and that I will be trapped in this body for all my life. I would really appreciate if you reply to my message.
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Hello Michell Rosillo,
It takes a certain type of courage to reach out and talk about your life. It is normal to feel afraid and uncertain when thinking about coming out. Having very traditional parents doesn’t make the process any easier.
Feeling trapped and like no one understands can be really hard and you mentioned that you have thoughts of killing yourself. With all that you are going through right now it would be helpful to talk to someone. Please consider calling our 24/7 Lifeline at 866-488-7386 (U.S.) or The Suicide Prevention Center of Los Angeles (Outside of U.S.). Please also consider reaching and being honest with someone you trust, preferably an adult, such as a family member, counselor, neighbor, teacher, or anyone else you think could help.
Coming out is an extremely individualistic process and only you can know when the time is right. However, it can be helpful to consider the pros and cons of your decision. If everything goes well, what will that look like? What would happen if things went wrong? Based on all of this, you can make an informed decision. It is also helpful to consider your safety – is it possible your parents want you to leave? If so, having a back-up plan or somewhere else to stay might be a good idea.
If you’re looking to talk to other young people going through similar issues as you are, you can check out TrevorSpace, our social network for LGBTQ youth and allies. It can be a great way to make friends and find support from all around the world. The address for TrevorSpace is http://www.trevorspace.org . TrevorSpace also has a discussion forum called Q&Q (Queer and Questioning) where you can post questions and discuss what you’re going through with thousands of other LGBTQ young people on http://www.trevorspace.org/topics.cfm?src=1 . Also, there are other resources and communities that can help specifically with gender: http://www.genderadvocates.org/Tyra/TYRALinks.html ,
http://www.transyouthsupportnetwork.org/ , http://www.lauras-playground.com/trans_support_groups.htm .
If you need immediate support, please call 911 or visit a hospital to get help from a mental health professional. Feeling trapped must be unnerving, but you do have a future with options. You are not alone and support can be helpful. Please continue to be brave and reach out for more help.