I have a problem i am trying to find out who I am. I’m bi, my grandma disapproves, and it hurts. I just wanna be me but I’m scared people will hate the real me. ))”: I don’t understand why she cant approve of me being like that. Do I have to be prefect and follow god as he said man do not belong together or girl and girl. Am I gong to have to hide it to make my grandma proud again??? I don’t know what to do anymore please help me!!!!
First and foremost, thank you so very much for writing us! It takes a ton of courage to ask questions about one’s sexuality, and the fact that you took it a step further and wrote us is a huge step in the right direction! It sounds like the things you’re going through are indeed very tough, and reaching out for help is a wonderful thing to do when in need. Kudos to you, Amy!
Being yourself may make you feel vulnerable, and it also requires a ton of courage, but it is absolutely the right thing to do. You don’t deserve to have to hide who you are to make someone else happy, whether that “someone” is your grandmother, a friend, or anyone else. Hiding who you are requires lots of energy and stress, and you deserve to live a happy, loving, and comfortable life – no matter who disagrees. Though you might have been taught otherwise, it’s very important to know that there is not a single thing wrong with being bisexual.
Your grandmother, specifically, seems to have her own problems when it comes to your sexuality, and they’re just that – her problems. Perhaps you might consider speaking to your grandmother about how her disapproval is affecting you negatively. She might not ever come around, admittedly, but all you can continue to try to do is be your honest, kind, understanding self. Fingers crossed that she changes her mind soon.
Talking to her must seem really, really tough; it certainly sounds like it. There is a lot of confusion about bisexuality at the moment, it seems, but things will get better as more and more accurate information starts to spread. That being said, the link below is from PFLAG – Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays – which provides a packet for family members who might be confused or have questions about bisexuality.
It sounds like you’re being very brave about all of this, which is wonderful, and again, I admire you more than I can say for reaching out to us here at the Trevor Project. If you feel like you need someone else to talk to, I always recommend http://www.trevorspace.org, where you’ll find tons of other people your age going through very similar things. We really are all in this together, and we certainly have your back!
All the best,
- The Trevor Project