Up until a few months ago, I always thought I was straight without a doubt. But lately I’ve been looking at my best friend in a different way, as more than just a friend. She’s the only girl I would date, and the only girl I’m attracted to; Otherwise I only like guys. So am I really bisexual, or is this just a crush?
Letter submitted by:
Thanks for writing to us, it’s such a brave step to take to ask for help or guidance for something that may be confusing. Know that having questions regarding your sexual identity is very natural and completely normal.
In response to your question, it might help to remember that your sexual orientation is more than a physical attraction to a specific gender(s). It involves an emotional, romantic, and even a mental connection and feelings toward someone. So, just because you may be “looking” at your best friend in a different way may not mean you’re bisexual. Your understanding of your sexuality may not happen over night; as you grow older and have more life experiences, your sexuality may become much clearer, and you may discover you are attracted to both boys and girls or just one specific gender. So know that there is no time table in knowing the answer to this. It must be scary or confusing to have feelings for your best friend only to be able to not know for sure or be able to tell her. Is there a friend in the LGBT community that you can speak to or even an adult you confide in (teacher, guidance counselor)?
There are two resources I’d like to share with you that may help you. The first is http://www.bisexual.org. It has some great resources like Bisexuality 101. Another resource is by the Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), here’s the URL: http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Be_Yourself_TT.pdf.
Again, know that you are not alone and that questioning your sexuality is completely normal and natural. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to write back to us or call our hotline (866.488.7386). We are always here for you, and you will always be loved and supported here.