asexuality coming out

Question:

Please can somebody help me i’m such a mess right now. i really want to come out but i’m asexual so it’s kinda ‘different’ or whatever you call that. The thing is that i dont know how to tell my family or friends about it, I talked to my family before about not being interested in sex but they laughed and told that ‘you have to wait until you meet someone you’ll have sex with’ But i’m 18, i already know my sexuality and i’m never sexually attracted to people, i find them pretty but it’s not like i want to have sex with them. People don’t really understand what asexuality really is and i’m afraid they’ll keep laughing at me and calling me immature. I just need some good advice, what to tell them so they can take me seriously.

Answer:

Thank you for contacting the Trevor Project. It takes a strong person to seek help when they are having a problem. Having a family that gives you a hard time can be stressful and uncomfortable, but it sounds like you are taking the right steps in being proactive about it.

Coming out as asexual can be a difficult process when those around you may not know exactly what that means. As you said, some consider it ‘just a phase’ or ‘immaturity’. However, we know that asexuality is a sexual orientation and not just a choice you make to be celibate. Perhaps educating those around you may help them understand the feelings you are going through. You can always talk with a trusted adult to practice what you want to say to your family. There are also web resources and support groups that you could access. For example, The Asexual Visibility and Education Network- http://www.asexuality.org/home/ , has categories of frequently asked questions from both family and friends.

I want to thank you again for seeking assistance during a stressful time! You are a strong person. While at first your family is hesitant in accepting your asexuality, perhaps with some education and time they will understand your feelings. If you ever feel like you need immediate assistance and support, please call the Trevor Helpline at 1-800-246-8255.