bi?

Question:

Hi Trevor, I am 20 years old. I am so confused about my sexuality. If you find girls attractive just as much as you do guys, does this make you bi? I have felt like this my entire life..but thought it was a stage but now im pretty much grown and I think i might have a crush on a girl…but idk…please help. This site is very good..thanks soo much =)

Answer:

First off, I want to tell you that you are not alone. There is nothing wrong with your feelings and attractions, and there is no right or wrong answer. Everyone goes through a period of discovery and questioning regarding their sexuality. In trying to figure out your sexuality, this can be a frustrating and confusing, yet rewarding experience. Allow yourself the time to understand your feelings before you place a label on yourself. Many people believe sexuality can change to some degree over a person’s lifetime. Other people know right away. In trying to understand your sexuality, it might help to remember that sexual orientation involves emotional, romantic as well as physical feelings and attraction for people of both genders (bisexual), people of the same gender (lesbian and gay), and people of the opposite gender (heterosexual or straight). It can also help to think about whom you have crushes on and whom you fantasize about being with girls, boys or both. Overtime, you will find an understanding of how sexuality fits into your life. You will also find a way of expressing your sexuality that works well for you. There is no rush!

I encourage you to visit Trevorspace, at www.trevorspace.org. It is the Trevor Project’s safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24, their friends and allies. It’s a great supportive community where you can connect with others who might have had or are having the same questions that you’re having. I encourage you to speak with a trusted family member, counselor, or friend about the questions you are having.

Some other good links are; On www.bisexual.org you’ll find a lot of helpful information on bisexuality. If you click on resources, then bisexuality-general information, then “Bisexuality 101 from PFLAG” you can find information that may help. PFLAG’s (Parents, Families & Friends Of Lesbians & Gays) “Be Yourself: Questions for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth” at http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Be_Yourself_TT.pdf can be of further help as you try to understand your sexual orientation. Remember that there’s no rush to figure this out!

-Trevor