Ive known for along time that i wasnt straight and ive been hiding the fact that im lesbian since i was little and im tired of hiding i wanna tell my family but they think homosexuals are disgusting and im very terrified and i dont know if i should come out or not but i wanna be happy what should i do?
You should know you’ve made great progress in identifying as a lesbian, even if it is only to yourself! It takes great strength and pride to internally acknowledge your sexuality. It’s normal to feel scared or worried about what people close to you might say or think when coming out. We validate the ties with others based on their acceptance of who we are and what we do. The important thing for you to know is that homosexuality is OK.
There’s no right or wrong way or time to come out. Your life is unique, and so is the story you’re telling. You should do it when you’re most comfortable, and only you can determine when that is. Most often, the fears we have of being shunned, shut-out or abandoned never materialize. Sometimes people with little exposure to people of other backgrounds or views are cynical of people who are “different” than they are. Yet, when someone they love or is otherwise close to them takes on an association with that “difference,” they see the world a bit differently. You may become that catalyst to change their views of the world, and in this case, homosexuality.
Consider, also, things that are important to you. Do you like keeping this part of who you are a private matter? What will the benefits of being out to your family include? Are you fearful of revolt or being kicked out? And if so, do you know what your safe plan is? These are all critical questions that will guide you in your decision of when to tell the people you love. There are more questions for you to think about in this artlce, “Coming Out to Your Parents: Questions to Think About.”
Know you’re not alone, and many other people have been through this before, too. There are great resources available to you online. You should see the Human Rights Campaign’s “Resource Guide to Coming Out.” You should also direct your family to PFLAG.org, home of the organization called Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. On that site, you can find a lot of materials to help you help your parents and loved ones better understand what it means to be LGBT.
Above all else, know we’re always here for you. You can reach us anytime at The Trevor Lifeline at 866-4-U-TREVOR, or through TrevorChat. If you’re looking to connect with others who may be going through what you are, you should definitely check out TrevorSpace.
Remember, the important thing is to be safe and comfortable when you decide to come out. We’re hopeful your family will accept you for you, just as you already have.