Hi my name is Samantha. i’m confused on if I’m bisexual or straight. Because in 5th grade i started to like girls because there were these two girls that were bisexual and they both liked me so i said i was bisexual even though i was confused on the subject. So both of these girls were my best friends so i started to date one secretly so only me an her new about it we didn’t tell anyone. well my point is that i like girls and guys its just that im afraid to tell anyone or even my closest friends. Because I’m afraid I’m going to tell everyone and then end up changing my mind and not wanting to be bisexual. So please help me I don’t know what to do.
I’m also afraid to tell people because i feel a lot of people bully me an i don’t want it to get worse. But there are people in my school that just go out on Facebook and people say congrats for like being brave and stuff but what if they act different to me and they make fun of me. ): please help :/
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Hi, Samantha! It IS brave of you for reaching out to get a better understanding of who you are as a person. I can relate with your situation and we here at Trevor are always her for you 24/7. I can be so confusing trying to become aware and accept who you are and who you are attracted to. Trying to “fit in” a certain label or lifestyle can be really quite frustrating. Once we do accept who we are then there is the whole issue of whether friends will accept you. That is really scary. So yes it is difficult to know how to express yourself verbally and as a person. I will offer a lot of information that will hopefully help.
Have you ever sat and thought about who you really have crushes on or want to get romantic with or even more get physical with? I cannot tell you if you are bi or straight or what. I can offer a term that has brought many to a level of peace and understanding of themselves and that is to identify as being “gender fluid”. Some folks find it easier to identify themselves this way who are attracted to both sexes without the stigmas attached to more widely used terms such as gay, bisexual, lesbian, etc. Here is a resource you can refer to that will offer some insight regarding bisexuality. On http://www.bisexual.org you’ll find a lot of helpful information on bisexuality. If you click on resources, then bisexuality-general information, then “Bisexuality 101 from PFLAG” you can find information that may help. Also, see if your school has a gay/straight alliance (GSA) It is a group for LGBT kids to meet and talk with straight allies. It helps with communication, understanding, and is an excellent way to face the bullying issue. “There are a number of organizations that work specifically in schools to address homophobia and transphobia against LGBT students. One such organization is the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) which works to ensure safe schools for ALL students. On their website at www.glsen.org click on “what we do” where you can find programs which may help people in your school become more understanding and supportive of you. One program is called “A Day of Silence” which brings attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools. Each year, the event has grown, now with hundreds of thousands of students coming together to encourage schools and classmates to address the problem of anti-LGBT behavior. Another program is the No Name-Calling Week which is a week of educational activities aimed at ending name-calling of all kinds and providing schools with the tools and inspiration to foster a dialogue about ways to eliminate bullying in their communities. On GLSEN’s website, there are also links to articles and blogs where you can learn how students at other schools are educating each other on the subject of intolerance. GLSEN also has information on how to start a GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance) which is a student club that work to improve school climate for all students, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. It’s a place where students can come together, offer support to one another and help make your school a more accepting place. On http://www.gsanetwork.org/resources/start.html you can get information on how to start a GSA. You can call the GLSEN office in New York at 212-727-0135 as they may be able to help you or point you towards someone who can help you. Another resource that can be of help is The Trevor Project’s Lifeguard workshop program which contains the film “Trevor” to be used with the workshop guide to open up discussions with ALL students about how language and behavior can affect the way an individual feels about themselves. You can find these resources by going to The Trevor Project home page and clicking on “read more” under “parents and educators” or by calling The Trevor Project offices at 310-271-8845. If there is a school counselor or administrator at your school with whom you feel comfortable, you could talk with them about using these programs to help people become more understanding and accepting of you and other LGBT people.”
We are available 24/7 at Trevor Live to answer or call in times of crisis. 866-4-U-TREVOR We also have TrevorChat where counselors will talk with you via instant message when you are in need. If you are interested we also offer TrevorSpace. This is a safe social networking site for LGBTQ youth and allies ages 13-24. There, you may meet new friends and other folks who are or have experienced some of the same concerns you have. Great way to meet other like minded youth and get support from each other. I say all of this to help you know for sure you are never alone!! It has been my honor to be a part of your journey. You are a very brave and strong person! Contact us again anytime you need to!