Confused

Question:

Hello. I thought i was a lesbian about a year ago (i’m 13 now) but recently i’ve had a bunch of crushes and fantasies about guys too. i have a crush on my best friend. we both cut and have alot of family issues, although i’m more depressed/suicidal than her. i know i may only like her because we are such good friends and she has alot of the same feelings i do, but i truly do love her. but it doesn’t matter because she’s straight and has a boyfriend. But the guys i have crushes on are like us too. they cut and one attempted sucide a few times, as have i. i dont know if the other one has or not. im very confused and i love my best friend, and these guys who are going through the same things i am. i think i’m bisexual… please help clarify this.

Submitted by

Answer:

Dear Stevie,

It’s totally okay and natural to question your orientation.  Sexual orientation can be a very confusing matter. Many people have difficulty coming to terms with their own sexuality and it is really brave of you to reach out for answers. Remember sexual orientation involves emotional, romantic, and physical feelings as well as attraction. Bisexuality can mean that a person can have these wide range of these feelings towards either gender. However, you don’t need to worry about classifying yourself so quickly.

Many people take an extensive amount of time to figure themselves out. You need not to let yourself distress about the situation. Cutting yourself, can provide immediate relief to your frustration or anguish, but can have long term physical and emotional effects, you may instead find it more satisfying to find a healthy outlet to vent your confusion.

Sexuality is a complicated matter, but it’s something that with time, we can come to understand. You should definitely check out this resource packet http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/BisexualityResourcePacket.pdf which has great information about sexuality in general. TrevorSpace at www.trevorspace.org is a great place where you can safely connect with others who face similar conundrums. We hope this letter has resolved some confusion for you, but if you ever feel depressed, or in any danger of any sort of harm or would just like more help, don’t hesitate and call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386. We will always try to help in whatever way we can. Take care of yourself!