Feel Like I have done Something Wrong B/c I am lesbian

Question:

I feel really alone right now. I feel like I have done something wrong because I am lesbian. I have a friend that helps me and listens, but she is my biggest cush and I don’t always feel comfortable. I want to know if I did something wrong. I want to be out of the closet. but I don’t know. Thank you so much!

Answer:

It takes a lot of courage and strength to reach out for help when you’re experiencing a difficult time. Thank you for trusting Trevor. It’s important to remind yourself that you’ve done nothing wrong. Sometimes, when people are going through a very difficult time or feeling depressed, they may feel alone. On http://us.reachout.com/ you can find facts about depression by clicking on “The Facts” and then “Depression.” Do you have a trusted adult in whom you can confide — maybe a relative, doctor, teacher, or school counselor? If there’s no one you feel comfortable speaking with, you can always call the Trevor Lifeline anytime at 1-866-4-U-TREVOR. It can also help to speak with a mental health professional about what you’re going through, including the possibility of coming out of the closet. On http://store.samhsa.gov/mhlocator, you can search for mental health services in your area. You can also contact the Association of Gay and Lesbian Psychiatrists by calling 215-222-2800 or by visiting their website at http://www.aglp.org/.

Sexuality is an ingrained part of who we are. Even though it’s not a choice, whether you identify as lesbian, straight, bisexual, or somewhere in between, you ultimately make the decision to sexually identify yourself and to define it for yourself as well. What’s important is to be with someone who makes you happy, regardless of their sex and regardless of labels. On http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=730&Itemid=177, you’ll find a publication entitled “I Think I Might Be Lesbian, Now What Do I Do?” You may also find comfort in talking to other peers about this, as many of them share your same questions. Trevorspace (http://www.trevorspace.org/) is the Trevor Project’s safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24, their friends, and allies. It’s a great supportive community where you can connect with others who might have had or are having the same questions about coming out.

Coming out is a very personal decision. Your safety and comfort are the guiding principles in deciding when, how, and to whom you come out. In trying to figure out whether or not to come out, it can help to ask yourself some questions, including: What does it feel like keeping this part of your life a secret? Does it cause you a lot of stress worrying about others finding out? Are you worried that if you told others, you’d be unsafe physically or emotionally? If you feel now is the right time, that’s absolutely fine. What is most important is that you are comfortable and safe. You might find helpful the Human Rights Campaign’s “Resource Guide to Coming Out” at http://www.hrc.org/resources/entry/resource-guide-to-coming-out.

Stay strong, and remember that you’re not alone!