friends

Question:

Hi I am 16 and I told came out to my friend and she was OK with it and a year later she my friend new my girl friend and then me and my girlfriend broke up and my friend like a couple of months after that stopped texting me and talking to me and I text her and said sorry for what I did I had no clue it has been 2 months of not talking to my best friend that I miss so much and we go to different schools now and I miss her

Letter submitted by:

Answer:

Hey Brebre,

First off, thanks for writing the Trevor Project.  Never hesitate to ask any questions that you have as we are here to help you in any way that we can.  Feel free to write again if another question or concern pops into your head.

Let me just say that relationships are always tricky.  It’s good to hear that your friend accepted you when you first came out and was ok with who you are.  It’s important to always make sure that you feel comfortable being who you are.  It can be however very disheartening when a friend doesn’t want to talk or ignores you, especially after a breakup.  As you alluded to in your email, you may not even know the real reason why.  That hurts.  You just need to reassure yourself that you did everything that you could.  You said you were sorry.  You expressed that you wanted to talk and be friends.  You can’t do anything more than that.  It’s now up to your friend to decide, as much as that hurts.  I personally have found that the best advice I have is to suggest that you ask her to talk in person face-to-face so that you can share with her how you truly feel and hear how she does directly.  If she doesn’t want to meet in person than you may have to move on but that’s not the end.

From my experience, I can tell you that even though sometimes I have felt as though I will never find another good friend when one has left my life, I always have found another.  You’re 16 years old.  You have your whole life before you.  I promise you that wherever you go to school, there are plenty of people in need of friends.  Just put yourself out there, be yourself and people will like you for who you are.  You also have another option.  You can create a profile on Trevorspace to meet other LGBT friends online.  It is a bully-free, LGBT supportive social network program, created by the Trevor Project.

Although it is discouraging when a friend doesn’t want to talk or ignores you, it’s a part of life.  I would try to talk to her face to face one more time and explain to her exactly how you feel.  If she doesn’t want to do that, than as hard as this may be, you should just move on.  There are plenty of people to get to know and quite frankly, it is your friend’s loss to not be talking to you.  Even though I haven’t met you I know you are amazing and wonderful and the rest of the world deserves to get to know who you are!  So what are you waiting for?  Get out there and show them who you are!  They are awaiting your arrival!

Your friends,

Trevor Staff