So a year ago, this kid in one of my class called me a “faggot” in front of a lot of people. I never forgot it. He is in my gym and and I played him in badminton and beat his by like ten points. The next day (Thursday) he says he wasn’t trying to the whole class which was rude and embarrassing. So today in gym, the teacher made me his partner and I was like “You gotta run for those” joking around and he got very rude, starting mimicking my minor stuttering and then i say “remember last year how you called me a faggot?” and he laughed and continued mimicking me and then I said “remember the other day how i beat you?, well you got beat by a faggot…” then he starts calling me a faggot and everything and keep repeating fag and stuff and then I was like “youre a piece of trash” then he continues and starts to walk after me pretending like he going to hit me and I was like don’t touch me. Then the teacher started new games and I was playing against him and he kept saying things under his breath.Then I was like “Dude I dont care youre a nobody” and screamed “shut up!”. At the end of the period the teacher sat us both down and started screaming at both of us. I tried to explain how I’m gay and got offended but he cut me off. The teacher didn’t even care I got called a faggot. The teacher then said he is going to make us partners for the rest of the midterm… I literally walked out of the locker room wanting to cry because I was literally being bullied and the one person who could have helped me ended up screaming at me. I dont want to take it to the vice principal because I am going to college and dont need the drama. The whole gym class is on my side and all are supportive. This one straight kid in the class makes me feel so welcomed and is so nice to me. I am just so embarrassed…. Trevor, what should i do?
Hi and thanks for writing to Ask Trevor. It takes a lot of courage to write a letter like this asking for advice so you should be really proud of yourself already!
Being a teenager is tough but it can be even harder for anyone who is gay, bi or even questioning. Being called names might not seem to be a big deal – but to anyone who has had it happens knows that name-calling can be extremely hurtful. Your ability to stand up to your bully is commendable and courageous. You didn’t resort to violence and you made everyone in your class aware that you are proud of who you are – that is huge! Good for you!
It must be incredibly hard for you to not be able to have your teacher help you. A teacher is someone who should be a trusted source who you can go to with your problems, but in this case it sounds like the teacher is not being helpful in disusing the situation. Even though you are going to college next year, it is important that you address the problems you are going through now. There is still a few months left in school and if you are being forced to remain partners with your bully – it will most likely lead to more problems. One option you have is to go to the vice principle and explain what is going on. It may seem like adding a bit more drama but you need to protect yourself, both physically and mentally. It is important that you make the supervisors in your school aware of the bullying you are going through. If you do not feel comfortable going to the vice principle you can find another teacher who you trust or if it’s available the school counselor. These teachers are not only hear to teach you lessons in school, they are teaching you lessons for life. Let others know what is going on and you might be surprised how helpful some teachers can be.
There are some great resources online that you can check out to learn more about stopping bullying. GLSEN has a page that has some resources for you and your school to look at. It might be helpful to bring this to the attention of any supportive teachers: http://www.glsen.org/cgi-bin/iowa/all/antibullying/index.html
Here is a link that discussed what to do when the authority figure is unsupportive:
The Trevor Project also has an online social network at http://www.trevorspace.org. It’s an online community where lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning (LGBTQ) and straight youth ages 13 to 24 can talk with each other, provide support, and find resources in their communities. And of course, The Trevor Project Lifeline is available to you 24/7 at 1-866-488-7386.
I hope this information has been helpful and that you are able to make the situation in school better.