Well…I want to kinda go away. I guess that’s how I describe it. I go to a catholic school. And since I’m fairly open about being a lesbian I guess its tougher on me. But there’s this guy who decides to constantly screw with me. And I mean constantly..everyday every chance he gets he’s at my neck. This started in my first year of middle school and has been going on for awhile now. I guess just him calling me this and that everyday has finally got to me. So I sit up, all night and replay everything in my head. All the foul and cruel things he’s said, gotten other people to say!
Honestly the only thing stopping me from leaving is my mom…I love her to death. But this is a heavy subject for me to pour on her. Plus last time I was sent away…and she called the police..which backfired roughly. But this year I can’t miss school cause of him. I’m looking at schools and they check my grades. I kind of see suicide as the only way out I suppose. I mean, I wrote 7 letters to everyone I’ll miss already…I’m scared..
I guess I need help, I guess I need advice..but I’m to afraid to call. Writing it down is the only way..Please help
It is really awesome and brave of you to reach out and write us a letter. It’s not always easy to talk about these types of experiences and it really says how mature and strong you are. I can only imagine how hard it must be to have to deal with someone who is giving you such a hard time. You don’t deserve to be treated that way and it’s understandable that you would be so upset with all that is happening.
You mentioned that you have been thinking about suicide and are scared. With all that you are going through right now it would be helpful to talk to someone. Please consider calling our 24/7 Lifeline at 866-488-7386. Please also consider reaching out to someone you trust, preferably an adult, such as a family member, counselor, neighbor, teacher, or anyone else you think could help.
It sounds like a scary situation, but please think about how much you have going for you. You are thinking of your future and it sounds pretty bright. It is really fantastic that you have your mother who you love so much. It is alright that she is a motivating factor for you. Sometimes it is hard to do certain things for ourselves. Even though it might seem tough on mom, when it comes to life and death, stress or something heavy is worth taking on.
It can be very challenging to reach out and put your feelings on the line. Even though it might feel uncomfortable at first, please give our 24-hour Lifeline a call at 866-488-7386. Our trained counselors are really great at making you feel comfortable and helping out with the situation. If you need immediate support, please call 911 or visit a hospital to get help from a mental health professional. We all need help sometimes and remember you are not alone. Please continue to be brave and reach out for more help.
The Trevor Project