Over the last couple years it has taken me a lot of courage to tell a few friends that I am gay. All of my friends have accepted me, but over the past year events have taken place to dramatize everything. It turns out some of my friends have a hard time keeping secrets. Last spring, while under the influence, I let slip that I was gay. About five people found out because of this occasion- or so I thought. It turns about ten people who I did not tell now know about my sexuality, including two of my best male friends. Some found out because of that night, and others actually knew before that (unknown to me). Nobody has rejected me, but I don’t know whether to approach my male friends about the issue or not. I also got into a big fight with a girl who I accused of telling everyone. I later found out she only told one person, but she has told me she never wants to speak to me again.
I want to thank you for writing to us at Trevor and to congratulate you on having the courage to come out. It is not always easy and it takes a very brave person to do that. It is a very good sign that no one has rejected you. You will see that good friends will be there for you no matter what and finding out who those true friends are will come out. The two male friends that you have that you have not spoken to, have they treated you any differently? Are you still best friends with them? If things are still the same, it may make feel more comfortable to bring it up to them and let them know that you aren’t any different. If nothing has changed then they probably are ok but tell them that you just want to clear the air. As to your friend that no longer wants to speak to you, it sounds like she is hurt. If she means a lot to you, talk to her. Tell her that this is a difficult time for and it has been stressful coming out. Apologize to her that about the fight. IF she is a true friend she will understand. The big thing is that you said no one rejected you. You were brave enough to come out, I’m sure you are brave enough to talk to your friends about it.