Howdy! I came out to my mom and sister as being bi about a month ago, a step I’ve wanted to take for some time now. I love being so sure of myself; I am not guilty or questioning myself anymore, but my mom thinks otherwise. She says that because of my young age, I can’t be sure of myself yet and that I shouldn’t label myself. I don’t know how common this is, but I have no desire to have sex with a girl; all of my attraction to girls and guys is romantic and emotional. My mom says that being emotionally attached to a girl doesn’t make me bisexual. I disagree with her so much! I wish she could feel how I feel and see the world through my eyes. Yet she did say that she will love me no matter who I marry.
Being out to three people (I called Trevor a while back, and it was one of the best conversations I’ve ever had) feels so much better than being in the closet, but I strive to be that girl who is out and proud. I want to come out to the world, but my family, along with myself, are very religious and likely won’t take it well. Yet I so want them to know who I truly am. I don’t want to hide this part of myself anymore.Oh, and coming out at school will be a whole different story. I know how cruel kids can be, yet I want to be myself. At this point, I yearn for the day I leave to college and can be myself to a whole new group of people. How can I show my colors confidently today while keeping family close?
And also, are there are novels y’all recommend on the topic of bi/lesbian relationships? I think that would be a great way for me to become even more confident, by reading about relationships. Thank you so much!
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I am really glad you felt comfortable enough to reach out to us here at the Trevor Project and congratulations on making a big step in coming out to your mom and sister. Coming out is a process, Claire. It might be difficult, but it changes your life, usually for the better. It is up to YOU as to when to come out to other friends, family, school etc.
Additionally, it’s important to note that you can definitely be religious and bisexual at the same time. There are many religious leaders and members of religious communities who teach love, acceptance and equality for all of people and are supportive and accepting of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) people. There is a great resource online called The Institute for Welcoming Resources at
http://www.welcomingresources.org/ devoted to providing religious and faith based resources for the LGBTQ community. Take a look at it when you get the chance. In addition, there
You are also welcome to join our Trevor Space where people just like you have a chance to chat with each other. You’d be surprised how many people feel exactly like you do! We offer some advice and words of comfort in our Ask Trevor letters, but your peers also have many helpful words for each other – and perhaps some specific suggestions regarding novels as you mentioned.
If you ever feel like you need to speak with someone, please do not hesitate in calling our help line again at 1-866-488-7386. Thank you for writing to us and remember that you always have friends here!