Um, I don’t exactly know if this is where I should be going with my problem. I mean, I was questioning for a really long time and just recently I came to the conclusion that I am pansexual. No one knows except for me and a few of my close friends that I’ve only met online. That really doesn’t play much of a factor, I don’t think, in my problem, but I just don’t know where else to go, and I don’t know anyone who will listen.
Not that I don’t have people who would like to help me, I just wouldn’t know how to tell them, and I don’t know if they could help me.
My main problem is that I think I am swirling into depression. I don’t have suicidal thoughts, but I think I have anxiety and OCD and sometimes I’m afraid I’m going crazy. I’m just a 15 year old girl and I shouldn’t feel this way, but I do. I think it’s because I don’t have any friends that I can be myself around. So I am severely lacking in the friend department and I think I have social anxiety or something, I don’t even know, but I feel like I’m going crazy and I’m so afraid of dying and everything. I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to be depressed, I want to enjoy life but I can’t. I get so scared and I can’t afford therapy. And even if I could, what good would it do? No one ever goes to one therapy session and is cured. I don’t think people are ever fully cured and that scares me. I don’t want to be this way, I just want to be normal.
I’m sorry if this didn’t make any sense, also. I am mess right now.
Letter submitted by:
It’s very brave of you to reach out for help. It’s not always easy to talk about how we are feeling, especially if you don’t have an close friends or family members that you think you can talk to. Social anxiety and feelings of depression can be very difficult to deal with, but I want you know that what you are feeling happens to a lot of people, you are not, and I don’t want you to ever feel, alone. I am glad that you know some people online that you can talk to about what you are going through, even though this can be a very scary time.
Depression can be very difficult to deal with. It can make you feel all alone, make you very tired and unable to do the things that you like to do, and it can affect your sleeping and eating patterns, causing you to be unhealthy. Depression can also make you feel helpless and unable to cope with social situations, such as making new friends. I know it’s very difficult to have these feelings of loneliness and depression, but there are some things that you can do that may help. If you know an adult that you can talk to, maybe a family member, family friend, or school counelor, you can tell them what you are feeling. They may also be able to help you get treatment for depression. I know you are leary of treatment, but talking to a therapist or psychologist can make you feel better. There are also medications that can treat the symptoms of depression.
If you go to http://us.reachout.com/ click on facts, and depression, they have some really good information about struggling with feelings and how to cope with depression. Also, you may consider calling the Association of Gay and Lesbian Psychiatrists by calling 215-222-2800, or by visiting their web site, www.aglp.org; they may be able to help you find someone in your area to talk to. The Trevor Lifeline is always available at 866-4-U-TREVOR, and there is a great social network operated by the Trevor Project calleed TrevorSpace (www.trevorspace.org) that you might consider joining. It could help put you in touch with other people going through the same things that you are.
The Trevor Project is always here for you, we want you to be happy and healthy, because Lea, you are a unique and wonderful person who has a lot to offer the world.
Best Wishes and Big Hugs