I’m not sure what my gender is. I didn’t really think about it when i was little because i just hung out with my brother and his friends. i have been questioning my gender for a while and, in middle school, when hormones kicked in and things started forming, i hatted it. i didn’t start wearing boy close ’till high school and my friends call me a tomboy. However, i feel funny when they say that I’m not a boy, but I’m just a tomboy. Someone thought i was a guy and if felt good. It felt nice identifying as a guy. i am scared to tell my friends and family how i feel because my mom is religious and when i bring up the subject on transgender people she calls them “it’s”. I just want to cry because she probably won’t accept me. I am bisexual. I know that for sure. My friends know and some of my family, but no one knows that i would rather be a guy. I feel all alone with no one to talk to. i compress my chest and i like how it looks being flat. i feel better in boy clothes. I absolutely hate wearing dresses and girl clothes. when i do have to where my girl pants to school (i only have two pairs of boy pants) i just want to get home so i can put my pj’s on. i really don’t like putting girl clothes on because i just hate it. i wright how i feel down in a journal since i am terrified to talk about it to someone. It took me a while to wright this; mostly because I didn’t know what to wright and I was scared to do it.
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It is great that you reached out to us. This takes a lot of courage and awareness at such a young age of 15. Feeling confused about your gender identity is scary and brings with it a lot of questions. I will assure you that you are not alone, even though it may feel this way. What you are going through is a normal process of growing up and learning who you are as an individual.
There are many resources available to help you in determining what “gender” you might be. One of these can be found at www.genderspectrum.org which provides information relating to gender identity. Other great websites which can be useful are www.advocatesforyouth.org and pflag.org. PFLAG stands for Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays and this site has great articles and other reading materials on how to deal with some of the issues you are facing. I suggest visiting these websites.
It is always scary coming out to anyone especially for the first time about this. I think it is wisest to come out to someone when you feel SAFE and COMFORTABLE! Your safety is key no matter what and your comparability with the situation will make it easier as well. You might want to list out the pros and cons of “coming out” to help you come to a decision of when and how to do it. You might also want to think about how to react to different situations. What would you do if your Mother took this badly? What if she took it well? What about your friends? Is there someone that you feel comfortable with talking to about the subject? You might want to think about talking to the people who are most comfortable with your bisexual identity first. If they are comfortable with that then it is more likely that they will be comfortable with how you feel as well.
Something else to consider: Is there someone you can speak to about this at school? Perhaps a teacher you trust or a school counselor? They are a great resource at school to help you think things through. If you speak to a counselor about this topic, they are bound by certain rules and would have to keep it confidential. Make sure you do it when you feel safe and comfortable. Remember, you are not alone and there are many people out there willing to listen to you. Please contact us again if need be. We are always here for you.
Trevor Space is a really great way to speak to people like you in similar situations. If you prefer to talk to someone further about this anonymously you can call the Trevor Project Life-Line 24/7 at 866-488-7386. It is free and confidential. If you do not feel comfortable talking you can contact Trevor Chat at http://www.thetrevorproject.org/chat. If for some reason you have difficulty connecting with someone right away another similar resource you can use is the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, National Youth Talk line. They can also be of great assistance. They can be reached at 1-800-246-PRIDE or you can visit their website at GLNH.org to view a variety of their resources.
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