I don’t like to see him like that….

Question:

Dear Trevor

I know I’ve already done one of this things for myself but I’m needing help for my friend….almost everyday at school he gets called all of these names…like bush boy or big foot or horny boy so on just cause hes “hairier” than others….and I can tells that all these names really are hurting him….he sometimes goes to the guys bathroom and just cries….and I don’t like to see him like that….but idk what to say to him or how to help him…do u have any advice?

Sierra

Letter submitted by:

Answer:

Hi, Sierra.

It sounds like you really care about your friend and want the best for him. Bullying is definitely a tough subject to handle because everyone has a right to feel safe in school, and no one should ever be bullied or abused in any way. I’m glad you wrote a letter to us at Trevor, Sierra, and the first thing that I would tell you is to do what you are doing and be there for your friend. Just listen to him when he needs to talk and validate his feelings by telling him that it’s okay to be upset and angry and even scared. You can also remind him that no one has the right to bully him and that he should feel safe in school.

Bullying, even when it’s verbal such as name calling, can be really hurtful. If there is an adult you trust, Sierra, such as a teacher, counselor, or another adult, the best thing to do is to report the bullying if your friend doesn’t want to report it himself. Your friend may not want you to tell an adult because he is afraid or embarrassed, but telling an adult can keep him from being more hurt and can keep the bullying from getting worse.

Telling an adult about bullying can be really hard and even scary, so I want to give you some resources that you and your friend can look at. You can go to www.stopbullying.gov and click on “Respond to Bullying” or “Stop Bullying Now” at the top of the page to find out what you can do to help. This website is designed more for adults, but it has a lot of great information and advice on it. www.pacerteensagainstbullying.org is designed by teens for teens. You can click on any of the tabs across the top to get information on bullying, how to help, and additional resources. www.pacer.org/bullying/ has good stories and videos on it as well as some awesome resources to explore.

The TrevorProject is also always an available resource if you or your friend ever need to talk. TrevorChat is open Fridays, Saturdays, Mondays, and Tuesdays from 1 p.m. PST to 7 p.m. PST. The Trevor Lifeline is available 24/7 at 1-866-488-7386.

Thank you so much for writing to us, Sierra. Try talking to a trusted adult about what is going on, and see if your friend will take a look at these websites; then give us a call or chat or send us letter if you need or want to talk to us again.

Best wishes,

The TrevorProject