I feel useless and and pointless

Published Letter #405 - Posted in , , , , , , .

Question:

I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel useless and and pointless and I have a girlfriend who seems so happy. I’m tired of feeling so upset when she is so happy. If I come out as pans I will lose my family and friends. My own best friend of 7 yrs was upset when I decided to date whomever no matter the sex. I can’t really deal with this anymore without anyone to talk to…what do I do? Where do I go from here?

Leah

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Answer:

Dear Leah,

First off, may I say that you are very brave for contacting the Trevor Project. You are a brave soul, because you realize that sometimes one may need help from others and you chose to get help?

When it comes to coming out, please remember that coming out is a very personal decision that only you can make; no one can tell you when or how to come out and no one can judge you for it. Before you consider coming out to them, please consider your personal safety and welfare and how that might be affected by coming out. How do you think your parents might react? Do you have a place you can stay if they kick you out of the house? It is really important to consider everything and make a safety plan in case. It is also totally okay and understandable to not come out until you feel like it is safe to do so.

It might be helpful to to think about what makes you upset and what makes you feel worthless and pointless. What thoughts and events trigger these feelings for you? What is it about your girlfriend being happy that makes you upset? Have you considered talking to her about how you feel?

If you are looking for people to talk to, the Trevor Project is always here to listen. We have a 24/7 Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386. If you would like to talk to other LGBTQ and allied young people who are going through or have gone through similar issues, we have an online social network called TrevorSpace (at http://www.trevorspace.org). Both services are free, safe, and confidential.

Please consider reaching out through either the Lifeline or TrevorSpace; both can be really powerful resources that can support you through what you are going through.