Dear Trevor, Im confused. I hate being a girl, I dont like anything girly and I have an axiety attack whenever some one trys to talk about “girl stuff” with me. I look at other girls, normal girls, and I feel like an alien. I want to be a boy so bad, i dress like a boy and sometimes I pretend I am a boy, but Im not. Im so confused but Im afraid if I say something everyone will think Im a freak. I dont know what to do. Yours truly, Nathania
Thank you for reaching out to Trevor and being so brave. Questioning your gender identity is very normal and is something that many people go through. You are still learning about who you are as a person and the most important thing you can do is be yourself while feeling comfortable in your own skin. You don’t have to be interested in “girl stuff” and it is perfectly fine to feel like you would be more comfortable and happier as a boy. You might be questioning wether or not you are transgender, which is when a person’s assigned sex at birth does not match their gender. If you are considering this identity it is perfectly normal to be confused and afraid. Remember that your identity is your own and that nobody else is entitled to tell you how you feel. If you have any friends, family, trusted adults like a coach or teacher that you feel comfortable with, it could help to talk to them and make them understand how you feel about your gender.
If you do not wish to confide in anybody you know personally there are other options and support groups. Onhttp://www.transyouth.com/I%20think%20I%20may%20transgender.pdf, you’ll find the brochure, “I Think I Might Be Transgender…Now What Do I Do?” Or there is “PFLAG’s (Parents, Families & Friends Of Lesbians & Gays) ‘Be Yourself: Questions for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth’ at http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Be_Yourself_TT.pdf can be of further help as you try to understand your gender identity. Another great place to go is www.trevorspace.org. It’s the Trevor Project’s safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24 their friends and allies. It’s a great supportive community where you can connect with others who might have had or are having the same questions that you’re having about your sexuality/gender identity. Also remember The Trevor Lifeline at 866-4-U-TREVOR and TrevorChat if you need anything else.
We’ll be thinking about you.