Hello, My name is Crystal.There has been some recent events that has impacted my life greatly and I was wondering if you would have any advice to offer. Me and my girlfriend had been together for almost four months when this all happened. She was transgender and believed that she was a male instead of female, of which I had no issue. At first both of our parents had seemed accepting of the fact that we were together until one day after school, while we were waiting on her mother to pick us up. Her mom told her that I had to find another way home and that she had some other things that she had to take care of. I didn’t care, and began to walk home. As they were driving away it had appeared that they were fighting, so i figured I would get a call from her later as I always did, but instead I recieved a text message 10 minutes later saying that she wouldn’t be able to contact me for a few days because she was going to visit with her friends. She said that she would be home in two days. About five days later I received a phone call from a number that I didnt know, it was her. She told me that she was staying with her father and that I didn’t need to worry, well I did worry because her father was not the most involved and wasn’t going to win father of the year anytime soon, if you know what I mean. Two months passed by and I hadn’t heard anything from her. Then one day in class I get a phone call from a CVS in Orlando. It was her. She asked for my address, I gave it to her, and the call ended. About two weeks after that I received a letter from her. It stated that she has been trying to get away from them but they won’t allow her to. She basically has no contact with anyone and she has missed A LOT of school. She just turned 16, also found out that the church we were attending was involved in this. Please, if you know of any way to help me or if you have any advice, Email me. Thank you
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I’m glad that you wrote to us to talk about your concerns about your girlfriend. It sounds like the last few months have been stressful, especially since you don’t have regular contact with her. You sound like a very caring and concerned friend and your girlfriend is lucky to have you in her corner.
This is a difficult situation because you thought both of your parents were supportive of your relationship, but the actions of her parents would suggest otherwise. Have you been able to contact your girlfriend’s mother? If she doesn’t want to discuss your daughter with you, do you have a trusted adult that could help you communicate with your girlfriend’s family? If you could tell her mother that you are concerned for your girlfriend’s happiness and safety, perhaps she would be more open to discussing the situation with you.
The next time you are in contact with your girlfriend, remind her that there is always someone at the Trevor Project available to talk, either through the Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386 or through AskTrevor. She (and you!) can also check out www.trevorspace.org. This is The Trevor Project’s online social network for LGBTQ youth ages 13-24. This is a safe space for you to connect with other young people and find a supportive network of peers. You’ll find that you’re not alone, and that there are people you can reach out to for support.
Take care of yourself and remember that you can always write to us again here.