I just don’t know!

Published Letter #1943 - Posted in .

Question:

Hi. Let’s say my names Jeremiah, i just found this site, and I thought it could help sort out my confusion! Since Grade 7 I’ve felt an attraction to guys, but it’s more of a physical attraction rather than emotional. But I’ve also dated lots of girls which I have an emotional attachment to rather than physical. See what I’m getting at? But there is this one guy that I’m equally attracted to. But there’s also this one girl I’m also equally attracted to. Does this mean I’m Bi-sexual? Emotionally attracted to girls but sexually attracted to guys. I’m just really confused and Probably being really confusing. Get to me when you can ~Jeremiah

Letter submitted by:

Answer:

Hi Jeremiah,

It seems like you have wonderful self-awareness since you’ve been in touch with your feelings from an early age.  Way to go for identifying your feelings, acknowledging them and trying to sort through them! 

Sexual orientation can be confusing. As you’ve pointed out, sexual orientation is a complex combination of emotional, physical, and spiritual attraction.  Many people believe that sexual orientation occurs on a scale ranging from straight (attracted to the opposite gender) to gay/lesbian (attracted to the same gender) with bisexual (attracted to both genders either equally or not) in between.  Some people choose to label themselves as queer to represent this complexity of sexual identity.

Even though questioning your sexual orientation is confusing and frustrating, it’s also completely normal. Typically, people define their sexual orientation according to whom they are attracted to at all levels.   Take your time and be patient as you learn about yourself and others.  Maybe you’ll develop other types of feelings as you get to know the guy or the girl that you mention (or other guys and girls).  If you spend some time meeting different people or even dating, I’m sure you’ll find someone that checks all the boxes.  In the meantime, you should check out TrevorSpace, (www.trevorspace.org), the Trevor Project’s safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24 their friends and allies.  If you ever need to talk to someone, there’s always The Trevor Lifeline at 866-4-U-TREVOR (1-866-488-7386).

The Trevor Project