I have known my best friend since 4th grade. I know her inside and out, same with me. But one day at a sleepover all the girls were playing spin the bottle (I was not part of this) and I was getting snacks. Then the bottle landed in between the two girls and pointed to me. So they had me kiss a girl. I was fine for the rest of the year, and then I had these odd dreamy eyes for her. I found myself with a crush on a girl! I am so thankful she does not know. I don’t know what to do really. Should I tell her I like her? I know I will never kill myself for a crush that always gets a little bigger when I see her. I know I really will never “love” boys after one grabbed me. I am a total Gleek so I kind of got up on the stage at lunch and sang a song for her with one other girl that’s a lesbian (she sang it for her crush) without an adult knowing we were going to do it. We had I.S.S., but before we sang it I said, “This is for a special someone,” looking at her. I really thought that was a good idea till now. We got though the whole song so and I am happy it’s not on YouTube. So I don’t know if I should tell her. Help me please.
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Thank you for writing to us for advice. Love can be a tricky subject to figure out, and all of us go through this. Should I tell someone I like him/her? How will he/she respond? Am I prepared for bad news? From reading your letter, it sounds like this is an important subject for you. It also sounds like you have a big capacity to love another person and are comfortable in expressing how you feel. Those are great qualities to have. You’re also young, so you don’t have to feel rushed into making a decision.
Whether or not you tell your best friend how you feel about her is entirely up to you and what you’re comfortable with. There are a couple of questions you should consider as you think about what you want to do: Have you seen how she interacts with both men and women? Has she been in any relationships, and was she happy in them? Are you willing to risk losing the friendship if she responds negatively? Or, if she responds positively, are you prepared for a relationship or potential awkwardness afterward? Ultimately, the choice is yours.
If you need anything, always know that everyone with the Trevor Project are here for you. You can always write to us through Ask Trevor, or you can talk to us through Trevor Chat (http://www.thetrevorproject.org/chat) or connect to others through TrevorSpace (www.trevorspace.org).