I have always associated myself with being straight, but now that I am older I recently have started to develop feelings for other girls… specifically one. She’s a lesbian and very open about it, and she hit on me at a party. She was very persistent about it and I rejected her and she understood and respected my boundaries.
But now I cant stop thinking about her and what it would be like to be with her or any girl in general. I have lost all desire to even have sex with my boyfriend. I don’t know whats wrong with me and why I am so confused
and why I can’t stop thinking about her and how I have her cell number and could easily make plans to see her…
Original letter submitted by:
Thank you for taking the time to submit your concerns. That in of itself takes a lot of courage and I commend you for that! Questioning sexual orientation is a very natural and normal part of life. The great thing about exploring your own sexual orientation is that there is no rush in making decisions. Take your time in this exploration and be patient with yourself. I also commend you in making the effort to set your boundaries because it’s important to explore things at your own pace.
In trying to understand your sexuality, it might be helpful to remember that sexual orientation involves emotional, romantic as well as physical feelings and attraction for both genders (bisexual), people of the same gender (lesbian and gay), and people of the opposite gender (heterosexual or straight). It can also help to think about whom you have crushes on and who you fantasize about being with girls, boys or both. Keeping an open mind and educating yourself by asking questions like what you are doing now is the way to go!!!
I want to encourage you to talk about your questions with someone that you trust whether it be a friend, parent, relative, teacher or school counselor. Also, keep in mind the use of Trevor Space (trevorspace.org). It’s the Trevor Project’s see, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24 their friends and allies. It’s a great supportive community where you can connect with others who might have had or are having the same questions that you’re having about your sexuality/gender identity. Remember that we also have Trevor Lifeline at 866-4-U-TREVOR and TrevorChat as well.
The following links may be some great additional resources for you to explore more questions/concerns that you may have. Again, I wanted to thank you for the courage that you showed writing to askTREVOR.