I might be in love with my straight best friend

Question:

My best friend and I are extremely close. She has lived with me for a months period at a time. I tell her everything and she tells me everything. She knows I am bisexual and she says nothing will change our friendship. She recently told me she thinks she might be bisexual too. We take showers together and we have kissed and made out a few times as well. I know that its probably nothing to her since many girl best friends have kissed and we made out in truth or dare, but I think I might be getting some real feelings for her. She has been flip flopping a lot recently on whether she is bisexual or not. That, plus our extremely close friendship makes me hesitant to tell her how I feel. I don’t want to ruin our friendship or make things awkward by telling her I think I may be falling for her. Help please?

Thanks,
Bee

Letter submitted by:

Answer:

Hi Bee,

I’m glad you felt comfortable writing to AskTrevor about your feelings for your best friend. It can be difficult to talk openly about how you feel about another person, especially when you’re not sure how they will respond. I can tell from reading your letter that you and your friend are extremely close. It’s important to have friends that know you and love and support you.

Whether or not you decide to tell your friend how you feel is really up to you and how comfortable you will be with the conversation. You have to be prepared for all outcomes, both good and bad. You might want to ask yourself some questions: Has your friend been in a relationship before? Have you seen how she interacts with women and men? Are you willing to lose your friendship if she doesn’t have the same feelings? If she does have the same feelings, are you ready to be in a relationship with her or will your friendship be awkward? Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide if the benefits of telling her outweigh the risks that she might not return your feelings. It may be useful to write down the pros and cons of telling your friend. That might help put things into perspective.

Above all, always know that there are people here at the Trevor Project to help. You can write to us through AskTrevor, or you can log on to Trevor Chat (www.thetrevorproject.org/chat). You can also check out www.trevorspace.org. This is The Trevor Project’s online social network for LGBTQ youth ages 13-24. This is a safe space for you to connect with other young people with similar questions and find a supportive network of peers.

Good luck,

Trevor Staff