Have you ever just missed someone so much but you knew deep down inside of your heart, they weren’t coming back? /:
Dear Calling Out for Help,
The answer to you question is yes, I have had that experience. But I will infer that you are asking that because this is what you yourself are currently experiencing. For whatever reason you are missing that particular person, you need to understand that others constantly come and go throughout our lives. The experience of loss could be something as traumatic and permanent as the death of a loved one; be it a parent, a sibling, a beloved aunt or uncle or other relative, or perhaps worst of all, a child. Or the loss could be from a broken friendship, or the end of a more physical relationship.
Other than the loss from death, all other relationships may not have the permanence you might think. Relationships can sometimes mend, and begin again. However, sometimes this is not the case, and I think it is important to understand that all of this is a fundamental of human social dynamics.
Friends will come and go throughout your life. A very few old friends may remain with you throughout your life; but more often than not, people outgrow their relationships for one reason or another – loss of common interests, change of social circles, moving on to different schools or different communities. The only constant in life IS change.
But with change comes new opportunities for new relationships and new friendships. Even though the loss of this relationship may seem sad and difficult for you at the present time; time does pass, and when you meet new, friendly and interesting people down the road; this event will not weigh on you with the heaviness that it does at the moment.
If you have someone whom you personally such as a trusted friend, relative or teacher you might try to ask them about this.
If you would like to be more specific in your question, or elaborate on it, please do not hesitate to write back to AskTrevor or go to www.trevorspace.org. Here you will find a supportive community where you may connect with others who might have had or are having similar questions such as yourself.