I Need Help

Question:

I like to be considerd/regarded as a female but my mum asked me why and I don’t know how to explain it; please help me.

Letter submitted by:

Answer:

It can definitely be confusing or difficult to figure out how to explain to your mom why you want to be considered and regarded as female. I’m glad you felt comfortable asking for help in dealing with this situation.

Many people would have trouble answering a question like this, whether or not they identified as LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender), because in general, people are rarely asked why we want to be regarded as a certain gender.  Assumptions are made about a person’s gender identity based on many factors, including biological/anatomical differences and other cues such as clothing and hair styles.  However, in the end, your gender identity is only something you can know. No one gets to decide any part of your identity for you.

You could try explaining your feelings to your mom, like how it feels to be regarded as a male versus how it feels to be regarded as a female. Perhaps you could try to get her to understand what it’s like to be in your shoes.

The following websites might be useful for you to look at, and possibly to show your mom as well:

http://www.transyouth.com/I%20think%20I%20may%20transgender.pdf

http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Be_Yourself_TT.pdf

www.pflag.org

PFLAG is a great resource. On their website at www.pflag.org click on “Get Support” then click on “For Family & Friends” where you’ll find pamphlets you can share with your mom and/or other important people in your life to help them become more understanding and accepting of you.

Don’t forget, you can always get help at The Trevor Lifeline at 866-4-U-TREVOR, TrevorChat, and TrevorSpace. We are always here for you.

Trevor Staff