Hi. I don’t exactly know a lot about this website but I came here for help. I was watching Glee the other night and The Trevor Project commercial came on. Ever since I’ve seen it, I’ve been thinking about coming here. Ok so about a month ago I though I was gay and I thought I came I terms with it so I came out to my best friend and she took it well but she was really surprised. But lately, I’ve noticed I still have some type of attraction to guys but I still think about girl. Everything is so confusing because of it. I cut about 2 weeks ago but I haven’t since. Its heeled now and all that’s left is scares.. they just remind me of why I did it and that’s because this is way too confusing for me. I mean.. thinking about girls turns me on but thinking about guys doesn’t have that same effect on me anymore. I can’t really talk to my family about this because I am scared they won’t understand. I thought about talking to my mom about it but me and her aren’t very close, neither are me and my dad. I almost talked about it with my brother but he started laughing so I just decided not to talk about it. Now, I’m going to homecoming with a guy named David. It just doesn’t feel right. Can you help me try to understand any of this? And can you just try to help me with all this.. like what to do and stuff? Can I get some advice? Please.
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I want to commend you for coming to the Trevor Project website and being brave enough to ask us for help. I want to tell you that everything that you are feeling is normal, and you are not alone, although this is how you may feel we are here to help you the best way that we can.
Sexuality is a very complex concept that is constantly being over simplified. I want you to understand that being gay and feeling one way for guys and for girls is normal. What you should now is that sexuality is not just based on gender, there are several factors that are associated with it. You have to consider things such as physical, mental and emotional attractions. You may feel attracted to someone physically but not mentally and that may confuse you, but that is what sexuality entails. You asked for advice and the best advise I can give you is to date, you are young and do not necessity need to label yourself. Try going on dates with guys and girls and see which makes you feel the most complete. Not only date, but check out your local LGBT Center and meet new people who have gone through similar issues so that you can develop a support system that you can reach out to. You also mentioned that you cut yourself recently, people who cut tend to use it as a way to deal with the pain, confusion or stress they are feeling, but now that cutting is very serious and can be dangerous. I know that it may help you in the moment feel better, but you mentioned that now all that remains are the scars and the feelings have not changed. Instead of cutting maybe you should try and go for a run, listen to music, watch a movie, so that you can try and escape your own head space.
Here is a link that may be helpful, http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view &id=726&Itemid=336 and you can also try one of our social networking site www. trevorspace.org.
Again Morgan, please remember that you are not alone, and that what you feel is okay. Growing up is confusing as it is but when issues of sexuality come in things become harder, but know that you are a strong person who will do great things. Keep moving forward, and do not be afraid to see what is out there and truly explore your sexuality because it is truly the only way to understand it.