I Want To Come Out

Problem:

Hello, I’m a 17 year old male who lives in Indiana, I go to a smaller school in a sort of small town. I’m gay but I’m not out. I want to come out and have for about 4 years now. So I’m finally working up the courage to even ask for help. I have a plan to start a GSA Group at my school, I don’t know how though. I decided I should probably go to my counselor to start, but I’m afraid I’ll be subjected to out myself right there. I’ve thought about leaving the world so then I wouldn’t have to deal with the hate of people after I came out, because that’s what I’m more afraid of than anything. It makes me feel weak when I think that. I just don’t know how to come out and I’d just love a bit of help on this.

Original poster

Solution:

Dear anonymous,

I think that it is so great you have decided to come out! That decision alone takes an incredible amount of courage, and I want to commend you on that. You have taken a huge step already, and we here at The Trevor Project could not be more proud of you. Starting a GSA group at your school is a great step in your journey to coming out. Not only will you build confidence in who you are as an individual, but you will be setting an amazing example for others by showing compassion, friendship and most of all understanding. By writing to us here at The Trevor Project, you have already asked for help! The amount of courage you possess is so very admirable. If you don’t feel comfortable speaking to your counselor, speak to a trusted adult at the school or a trusted family member or friend. They will help give you the courage and guide you in regards of what would be your next step in order to start this project. If you don’t who who else to speak to, we here at The Trevor Project are always here for you. We are available to speak 24/7 regarding any issue in your life. Call us if you need advice; we will be here for you no matter what! I know sometimes life gets hard, and you start to doubt yourself in who you are, and you feel the fear of people’s judgements rush over you like a crashing wave. Those feelings are so hard to shake at times. The strongest and most hopeful people in the world feel scared at times, but that NEVER makes you weak as a person. You may feel weak, but in no case does that mean you are weak. It takes so much courage to confront what hurts you, but you are taking it in stride. YOU are the reason why we here at the Trevor Project do what we do. People like you are the reason why The Trevor Project’s heart beats. You have this incredible goal and dream inside your heart that no one else at your school has. We believe in you so much here and we wish to see that dream become a reality! In regards to coming out, our main goal here at The Trevor Project is your safety. Above all, we want you to feel safe and comfortable when doing this. Some positives for coming out include a sense of freedom, as well as letting people in your life know an important part about you! Coming out can help you feel less alone, and help you meet new friends in school. Some questions to think about might include if you told your parents and friends, would you be unsafe physically and emotionally? If you told your parents, is there a possibility they might kick you out of the house? If you feel like now is the right time, we couldn’t be happier for you. What is most important to us is that you are comfortable and most importantly safe. There are resources for your family and friends to help them with any possible questions they might have about you coming out: PFLAG (Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) is an incredible organization made up of mostly parents to help other parents become more supportive and understanding of their loved one’s sexuality. Their website is helpful and full of resources.

We wish you luck in your endeavor to carry out your dream. Please, don’t give up! We cannot wait to see where you go in life. Please do not hesitate to contact us here.

Sincerely,

The Trevor Project