I want to tell you that I’ve told my family and close friends that I’m transgender

Published Letter #449 - Posted in , , .

Question:

Trevor!

This is the first time I’ll write to you.

I want to tell you that I’ve told my family and close friends that I’m transgender, and yet my parents want me to see a therapist to make me a girl. However, I want therapy for testosterone. And I’m almost 16. I’m trapped in this house everyday, and I wear my brother’s clothes. I want a binder, but have no money, and if it was shipped to my home, my parents would find it and actually do something. Something bad. They’ve turned off my internet frequently and such, and I’m stuck. I need some advice and maybe you could help me figure out how I can tell my teachers and the school that I’m transgender and I go by Jake?

I think that’s it. If you can give me more information, that’s great too!

Jake :)

P.S, I’m one week away from turning sixteen, and all I really want for my birthday is testosterone, cologne, clothing, and a binder. Instead, I ask my parents to give me whatever. I wish they could get me the things I really do want…

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Answer:

Hi Jake,

Thank you so much for writing into the Trevor Project!  It sounds like you are in a pretty rough situation at home and its unfortunate that your parents aren’t being more supportive/understanding. Being transgender is perfectly natural and there is nothing “wrong” with or about you!

Regarding your family, it is good that they want to get you professional assistance regarding your situation and such a person may be able to help you, however, if you need to go, you need to make sure that they are a licensed professional such as a psychiatrist, a psychologist, or a licensed clinical social worker.  There are plenty of quacks out there who claim to be able to “cure” L, G, B, or T patients, but that assumes there is something to be cured, which there isn’t!  A professional will look to help you from no particular angle or agenda (especially a religious one) and will listen to you, then help decide what the best course of action might be for you regarding hormone treatments, etc..  You will most likely need  a doctor’s prescription in order to receive such treatments.

I can’t really advise you whether to inform your teachers or school administrators that you are transgendered, however, you should only do it if you feel that they will be supportive or at least not make you feel bad for feeling how you do.  Some teachers/administrators “get it” and are understanding, but some do not, unfortunately.

You can also find people just like you on Trevor Project’s online social networking site called “Trevorspace”, which is at www.trevorspace.org.  It’s for LGBT people 13 to 24 years old and is a safe, supportive community where you can connect with others who might have had or are having the same questions that you’re having about your gender identity.

Lastly, please remember that if you are ever having suicidal thoughts or thinking about hurting yourself, PLEASE call 1-866-4-U-Trevor.  I hope this helps!

Trevor