I want… | Ask Trevor

Question:

I want to kill myself.
Recently I have been slightly cutting and I don’t know why.
But I was just sitting and thinking and I realized that I don’t want to be alive anymore.
I have two older sisters who both were self harmers and both wanted to commit suicide but my mom just doesn’t see that all of her daughters want to kill themselves and she plays an important role in that.
I know your supposed to think about friends and family in situations like this, but I don’t care I just want to die! Xx-Help

Answer:

Hi there,
You should be proud of yourself for having the courage to reach out and share your story. It sounds like you are in a dark place, but being proactive is an important step in the right direction. Also, it must add another level of difficulty knowing that your family is struggling.
Thinking about suicide is a very serious thing. If you are thinking of suicide, please, please consider calling our 24/7 Lifeline at 866-488-7386. Also, please consider reaching out to someone you trust, to share these feelings with, preferably an adult like a teacher, family member (assuming it is safe), neighbor, or school counselor. You deserve help
You have been through a lot. Maybe it would be a good idea to get professional help. It could be helpful to find a mental health professional that would understand: http://www.glbtnearme.org/ can be used to find gay-affirming therapists in your area.

If you’re looking to talk to other young people about coming to terms with your identity or others going through similar issues, you can check out TrevorSpace, our social network for LGBTQ youth and allies. It can be a great way to make friends and find support from all around the world. The address for TrevorSpace ishttp://www.trevorspace.org . TrevorSpace also has a discussion forum called Q&Q (Queer and Questioning) where you can post questions and discuss what you’re going through with thousands of other LGBTQ young people onhttp://www.trevorspace.org/topics.cfm?src=1 .

You mentioned that you are cutting which can be a way to deal with extreme feelings, but it is important to think about some of the consequences. It can lead to infections, accidents, and permanent scarring. Checking these sites out can be helpful: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm and http://www.selfinjury.com/.

Please consider going to an emergency room if you are thinking of suicide or at least giving our 24/7 Lifeline a call. You have clearly been through a lot and deserve additional support. Although it may feel like it sometimes, you are not alone. Things sound really tough now, but suicide can be a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Please reach out for more support.

Trevor