I was wondering what I should do when people ask me about how I look. I know that I am 19 and am supposed to know what I want. But sometimes I feel so awful about myself and how people look at me. I know that people look at me and wonder what is wrong with that person. I have feelings for a nice lady, but sometimes I just feel like it shouldn’t be that way. Other times I have feelings for a guy, and I just don’t know what to do.
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We are really glad you reached out to Ask Trevor. Please know you are not alone, and we are here for you at The Trevor Project. You should not fell awful about yourself or even feel bad about how you look. You deserve to be exactly who you want to be and look the way you want to look. You can’t control what others think about you, and you should focus on just being you. Questioning your sexual orientation is very natural and normal. It is okay to be LGBTQ – Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning. In trying to understand your sexuality, it might help to remember sexual orientation involves emotional, romantic, as well as physical feelings and attraction for people of both genders (bisexual), people of the same gender (lesbian and gay), and people of the opposite gender (heterosexual or straight). It can also help to think about whom you have crushes on and who you fantasize about whether it be girls, boys, or both. Some helpful websites are below. I recommend you check these out when you have some time. At http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=726&Itemid=336, you’ll find the brochure “I Think I Might Be Gay…Now What Do I Do?” On http://www.bisexual.org, you’ll find a lot of helpful information on bisexuality. If you click on resources, then bisexuality-general information, then “Bisexuality 101 from PFLAG” you can find information that may help. PFLAG’s (Parents, Families & Friends Of Lesbians & Gays) ‘Be Yourself: Questions for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth’ at http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Be_Yourself_TT.pdf can be of further help as you try to understand your sexual orientation. Remember that there’s no rush to figure this out.
You might want to talk about your feelings with someone you trust – a friend, parent, relative, teacher, or school counselor. You may also want to check out Trevorspace for support at www.trevorspace.org the Trevor Project’s safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24. It’s a great supportive community where you can connect with others who might have had or are having the same questions that you’re having about your sexuality/gender identity. There are also a few other Trevor resources that might be helpful. We always have the free, confidential and 24-7 Trevor Lifeline at 866-4-U-Trevor. You can call anytime you want to talk to someone, day or night. You can also visit TrevorChat for a safe conversation with one of our trained volunteers (http://www.thetrevorproject.org/chat). We hope some of these resources are helpful to you.
All the best,
The Trevor Project