Ive known I was different since I was in 7th grade. I told one of my friends the summer going into 8th grade that I liked both girls and guys. He had just came out to me and he said “so what…” I swore it off as something that I would grow out of and just let it be for almost a year about september 2011 when I started cutting myself. I realized the feeling I had wasn’t going away and I hated myself. I loved and accepted my gay friends but I never thought it would be me. Then in march, I said enough is enough, and stopped the cutting and started trying to be okay. I didn’t tell anyone untill this fall, my sophomore year, when i told another one of my best friends who came out to me. Eventually I came out to another friend, and another. I’m now out to four people, all my gay or bi guy friends. When I came out, I came out as bi because I finally accepted that I was attracted to girls. I’ve always seen myself getting married to a guy and starting a family just how my mom and dad and grandparents wanted and expected …..I’ve been in relationships with guys, but none have felt right. Honestly, the thought of being with a guy doesn’t feel right at all and I don’t know what I am. I know I’m not straight but other than that I’m beyond confused and I dont know how to come back out to my friends and tell them that I really, honestly dont like guys, or if i can accept it my self -M-
Original letter submitted by:
First and foremost, thank you so much for reaching out. It takes a lot for someone to do that. I also want to tell you, you are at the beginning of a wonderful journey through self-discovery. I encourage you not to rush things too much at this moment. While we go through this process it is very natural and normal to have different feelings and wonder how we fit into the world. It is important to remember that being attracted to someone and loving someone, whether they be of the same or different sex, is the most normal thing in the world and a wonderful gift.
Being able to examine yourself to try to understand what you truly want, and to be honest with yourself is difficult, so you should be very proud. That being said, as you’re thinking about these things, keep in mind that sexuality doesn’t always fit into an easy category; it’s fluid. A bisexual is an individual who loves both women and men, but it doesn’t necessarily mean being attracted to both genders equally.
On http://www.bisexual.org you can find a lot of helpful resources regarding bisexuality. If you click on resources, and then bisexuality-general information, there is a link to Bisexuality 101 from PFLAG, which might also be helpful for you to look at. It might also help to take a look at their brochure “I Think I Might Be Lesbian…Now What Do I Do?” at http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?ption=com_content&task=view&id=730&Itemid=177 . I would also encourage you to talk these feelings over with someone you trust – a friend, your mother, a counselor, etc. If you’d like to explore other options, Trevor Chat (http://www.thetrevorproject.org/chat) is a free, online, confidential live chat where people can answer your questions. Finally, Trevor Space is a social networking site you can join and relate to others (trevorspace.org). If you ever need anything, please don’t hesitate to contact us! Wherever your feelings take you, you have our love and support.
Remember, you are not alone and there are many people out there willing to listen to you. Please contact us again if need be. We are always here for you. We love you.