I am physically a girl, but mentally I’m a guy. You may be thinking “Okay, you’re transgender.” But, there’s more… I like guys. I’m gay and transgender? I don’t even know… I’m so confused…
Original letter submitted by
Hi there! I’m glad you’ve reached out to us for help!! Putting these types of thoughts into words can be very difficult. Here at the Trevor Project, we know how important support is for anyone with questions about their sexual identity. The good news is that questioning sexual orientation and gender identity is very natural and normal. When trying to understand your own sexuality, it might help to keep in mind that sexual orientation involves emotional, romantic and physical feelings as well as attraction for people of both genders (bisexual), people of the same gender (lesbian and gay), and people of the opposite gender (heterosexual or straight). It can also help to think about whom you have crushes on and who you fantasize about being with girls, boys or both.
Is there anyone in your life that you feel comfortable talking with this about? (Someone that you trust like a friend, parent, relative, teacher or maybe even a school counselor?) Once you’ve found someone you trust to share your thoughts with, the next step is being able to actually tell them. I think this can be very helpful for anyone questioning their sexual and gender identities. First, find a space where you feel comfortable talking- somewhere private and quiet where you won’t be interrupted. Try to think about what you’ll say ahead of time. You might start by talking about feeling confused to gauge the person’s reaction. You’ll know they are the right person to share your feelings with by their responses to easier topics first. This should help you feel more comfortable talking about your own questions. If there’s no one you feel comfortable talking with, you can always call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-4-U-Trevor. You can even practice what you might say to the volunteers who answer these calls!
TrevorSpace is another great place for support and help with these types of questions. TrevorSpace (at www.trevorspace.org) is the Trevor Project’s safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24 their friends and allies. It’s a great community where you can connect with others who might have had or are having the same questions that you are. Other places you might find information about your question are: http://www.transyouth.com/I%20think%20I%20may%20transgender.pdf
Here you’ll find the brochure, “I Think I Might Be Transgender…Now What Do I Do?” and http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Be_Yourself_TT.pdf where you’ll find PFLAG’s (Parents, Families & Friends Of Lesbians & Gays) ‘Be Yourself: Questions for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth’ that can be helpful as you try to understand your sexual orientation/gender identity.
Remember, there’s no rush to figure this out. We’re always here for you!