Hi. So I’m kinda confused right now because I don’t know if I’m bi. I’m a girl and I feel attracted to both boys and girls, but I’m also a younger kid. I don’t want to say my age (what it says in the calendar is fake) and I’m not in high school yet. I feel like this would be too young to know for sure my sexuality. Also, I have kissed both genders. The one with a guy we both wanted it to happen, but with a girl we were pretending to kiss as a dare. I accidentally leaned in too far. *facepalm* Both were very brief, but they felt about equal. If anything, I liked the kiss from the girl better but I have a crush on a guy who likes me back. When we hold hands it makes me feel good inside. I also got really jealous and angry today when I learned that a boy in my class has a crush on my best friend. That might have been because he was only attracted by her looks and not by her amazing personality…I don’t know. I also feel more comfortable in guys clothing. I’m a tomboy and because of that I’ve been called a lesbian before. I alwaysbrushed it off but in light of everything that’s happened recently, I don’t know.
Letter submitted by:
First off, let me thank you for submitting your concern to Ask Trevor. It is completely natural to feel confused about your sexuality. You are definitely not alone. This is a time in your life where you are really starting to discover who you are as a person and sexually. Always remember that sexuality is fluid. The way you feel can change throughout your life and that is completely okay. There is not a requirement that says we must label ourselves one way or the other whether gay, straight, or bisexual. Sexual orientation involves emotional, romantic and physical feelings and attractions. What makes you happiest? The way you dress does not make you gay or straight. It is an expression of how you feel as a person and should not define your sexuality.
Do you have someone close to you that you can talk to, someone that is supportive of you and can listen to how you feel? Sometimes it’s our close friends and family members that love us that make us feel the best in tough times. When we make attempts to reach out to those that do not support us it can be upsetting and sometimes depressing. Those that love you will remind you to keep your chin up and there is no wrong decision here.
There are also several resources that can help anytime you have questions. “I Think I Might Be A Lesbian, Now What Do I Do?” , http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=730&Itemid=177, is a link to a great brochure that may help with questions about your sexuality. Do not hesitate to contact Ask Trevor again any time you have questions or need some help. We are here for you and will be supportive in any way we can at this time.
Take care, and thank you for writing.