I’m still figuring things out.

Question:

I know that I defiantly like girls, and I have the body of a woman. As to lesbian, bisexual, anything in-between, whatever, I’m still figuring things out. The main issue is that I know that I have a female body but I never felt like a girl. I’ve always thought ‘I am a girl’ because I have a female body, and that’s what society expects me to think. I never really identified with a particular gender. I use bathrooms and locker rooms that correspond with my body, but lately I just dint know. It’s not like I feel like I’m a boy or I’m in the wrong body, my body feels right to me. I just don’t know what gender category I fit into. It’s confusing. For the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking of myself as a human being with a woman’s body- were all the same people. Sex is what’s between your hips, gender is what’s between your ears. An I don’t what gender I am. I don’t feel like a guy, I don’t feel like a girl. What does that even mean, to feel like a girl? Is there a word for this? I am very confused.

Alyssa

Original letter submitted by:

Answer:

Dear Alyssa,

Thank you so very much for sending in a letter. It takes a lot for one to do so. First off I just want to let you know that you should not rush into anything. You should always take you time in figuring out what and/or who you are. I want to let you know as well that questioning your gender identity is very natural. It’s a good step to know that you like girls. That’s just one of the steps to knowing who you truly are and becoming comfortable with who you are. As to you knowing what you are, that will take some time. You never want to rush into anything. In discovering what/who you are, you should go at your own pace. Everyday you learn something new about yourself. Whatever you decide on, you want to have a safety net built of whom you trust and love dearly, as well they should you. Anytime you have any questions or you just want to talk, you will have a safety net that is there for you. They will be there for you when you make your decision. You should always talk with a trusted adult, no matter if it’s a parent, relative, doctor, teacher, or school counselor if it is very important. If there is no one you feel comfortable talking with, you can always call the Trevor HotLine at 1-(866)-488-7386. As well as the Trevor HotLine, there is also a website you can go to for help. You can visit Trevorspace at www.trevorspace.org. It’s the Trevor Project’s safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13-24. The social network is a great supportive community where you can connect with others who might have had or are having the same questions that you are having about your identity. Remember it is your life. Nothing is more important than your opinion. Whoever you think you are is fantastic. Never let anyone change who you are. As well, you should stay true to yourself. If you have any questions, you can submit another letter to AskTrevor.

From,
Trevor