I’m bisexual and I really only accepted this myself about 2 years ago. I haven’t told anyone else because I don’t think anyone would understand or accept me, especially my (very religious) family. But one of the major things that made me realize I’m bisexual was when I realized I’m in love with my best friend. I’ve known her for 5 years now and she’s the absolute sweetest girl you’ll ever meet. She’s also incredibly straight. Homosexuality came up a lot in my (Christian) school’s Ethics class last year, and she once mentioned to me that she thought bisexuality is disgusting. She doesn’t know I’m bisexual, but for me that really hurt, and just kind of rubbed my face in the fact that we’ll never be together. But I can’t ever imagine getting over her. I mean, sure I’ve had crushes on other people, but I’ve always loved her more than anyone else. So my question is: is this situation – falling in love with your straight best friend – common for bisexuals and homosexuals? Especially if you don’t know any other bisexuals or homosexuals? And generally for people in this situation, how hard is it to get over that person? I really really hope I can get over her once I come out and start meeting girls I actually have a chance with, but like I said I just can’t ever imagine not loving her.
Letter submitted by:
Dear Catherine,First, congratulations on reaching that point of self-acceptance. It can be hard to come to terms with your sexuality, so that is something to be proud of. As for your feelings for your best friend, know that it is not unusual to fall in love with a close friend. There’s nothing weird about that at all. It happens to many people, straight or otherwise. When you have that close connection to another person it can be easy for that closeness to evolve into love. To answer your second question, the fact that you don’t know any openly gay or bisexual girls could have had a hand in why you fell for her, but that’s not necessarily the only reason. Regardless, it is something that happens to people of every sexual orientation.