mental bullying and coming out

Question:

I decided to come out to my friends in school around two months ago. Everyone was fine and accepting at first but then as more and more people stated to find out my friends started making sly jokes about my sexuality. These sly jokes became more and more obvious and it was encouraging more people to start talking to me like I was dirt. My whole school knows that I’m lesbian now. Even the teachers,they see I’m unhappy and that every joke they say or every word they call me tears me down,inside and out. I don’t know what to do anymore unless they are physically bullying me my school can’t do anything about it. My headteacher isn’t all accepting of the gay community either as he is very religious christian. I have no one to talk to about this and I feel so alone. I’ve self harmed before and have been doing it quite often lately. My parents don’t know I’m lesbian so I can’t talk to them about it. I’m just so confused and hurt and hate my life. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just need help. They’ve got in my head and now they won’t get out.

Answer:

Thank you for writing into Trevor. You are so brave and have such courage to have come out and to deal with this on a daily basis. Bullying does not have to just be physical. Often the worst bullying is verbal bullying which is exactly what you are going through and it is not ok. How do you think your parents would react to you coming out to them? If you feel safe, then maybe you should tell them and tell them what is going on at school. If not, find someone in the school that you think you can talk to like a guidance counselor or another teacher, anyone. The key is to let someone know that this is happening and it is not ok. If it is that bad in that school, is changing schools an option? The most important thing is for you to be happy and to feel safe. You need to be happy and be able to go to school. I know you said that the head teacher is not that accepting of gay people but she is in charge and if a student is being bullied, she should do something about it. You have nothing to lose by approaching her and telling her what is happening to you. The worst that can happen is she ignores you but then you won’t be in a worst situation. Or maybe she will respond and things will change. The most important thing is that you find someone that you can talk to and let them know you are being bullied and it needs to stop.