My Orientation

Question:

I like guys and I no that but I like girls to and ya there both good but lately I have been lonely I want company but I haven’t came out and I don’t plan to idk when but anyway i just want a gay community I can relate to like this one I have no intentions to suicide, and I really want to come out but idk how and I really need either a boy or girl friend

Letter submitted by:

Answer:

Hi there!

You should be very proud of yourself for reaching out to AskTrevor! You should know that what you are going through right now is very common and completely natural. Remember that staying true to yourself is important and it is also the key to happiness!

Coming out can be difficult and the process is different for everyone. Only you can make the decision to come out to your friends and/or family and you should only come out when you’re absolutely ready. When you are ready to come out, remember that it can have a positive effect on your life, as you will finally be able to share an important part of yourself with the people you care about. Coming out may also help you feel less alone and can lead to new friendships and relationships with other LGBTQ people. But there are some important questions to ask yourself before coming out. For instance, what does it feel like to keep this part of your life a secret? Does it cause you a lot of stress worrying about whether your friends/family will find out about your feelings? If you told your parents, would they be upset? Would you be safe if you came out to your parents? Keep in mind that your safety is very important in a situation like this. Again, it’s important that you come out when you are absolutely ready to – your comfort and safety are crucial.

Do you have any friends at school who are LGBTQ? They could offer you both support and advice and may also provide the type of community and friendship that you are looking for right now. I would also recommend reading about Bisexuality. The Bisexual Resource Center has several articles on Bisexuality for young people, which you can find by going to http://www.biresource.net/ and clicking the Youth button on the sidebar. In regards to Coming Out, check out the Human Rights Campaign’s Coming Out guide here: http://www.hrc.org/resources/entry/resource-guide-to-coming-out/ Also be sure to keep taking advantage of The Trevor Project’s resources – if you’re ever in need of help, you can call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-4-U-TREVOR or chat with someone online via Trevor Chat. And be sure to keep visiting Trevor Space, as you’ll surely find the sense of community for which you’re searching there, as well!

You are definitely heading in a positive direction and the questions you are asking yourself are a giant step towards a better life!

Your Friends at The Trevor Project