Questioning Sexuality

Published Letter #1978 - Posted in , , .

Question:

Hello,
I have generally considered myself straight until this past summer when my best friend started making out with me. We have since been dating for five months and have planned basically our whole lives together, including just signing a lease on a house together. However I still don’t really find myself physically attracted to her. While I love her a lot, I can’t tell if I’m just staying with her for security or if I’m actually gay. I have never actually had a boyfriend but I still like to look at boys and like it when boys hit on me. I sometimes like it when I make out with her, but I have no desire for anything else sexually with her. What should I do? I can’t tell if I love her as a best friend or as a life partner

Letter submitted by:

Answer:

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to Ask Trevor, it is important to reach out to others if you are struggling. Questioning your sexuality is a natural process that many individuals go through. Definite answers may not come quickly or easily but it is positive and courageous that you have begun to think about it and reached out for help.

Because sexuality deals with not only emotional but physical and romantic feelings it is important to pay attention to your feelings in all areas. Taking all your feelings into consideration may be helpful. Also, when going through this process you may want to speak with a trusted adult or relative about the way you’re feeling. This might help you decide what is best for you. Although it is a process asking yourself certain questions might help you reach conclusions. These links may be helpful: http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=730&Itemid=177, http://www.bisexual.org/.  TrevorSpace may also be beneficial to you, it is a forum for LGBTQ youth to discuss and explore the issues they are currently dealing with while supporting one another.

And of course always feel free to contact us at anytime. The Trevor Lifeline is available 24/7 at 866-4-U-TREVOR. TrevorChat may be helpful because you will be able to get a more conversational response from a TrevorChat volunteer.

Best,

AskTrevor