I have generally considered myself straight until this past summer when my best friend started making out with me. We have since been dating for five months and have planned basically our whole lives together, including just signing a lease on a house together. However I still don’t really find myself physically attracted to her. While I love her a lot, I can’t tell if I’m just staying with her for security or if I’m actually gay. I have never actually had a boyfriend but I still like to look at boys and like it when boys hit on me. I sometimes like it when I make out with her, but I have no desire for anything else sexually with her. What should I do? I can’t tell if I love her as a best friend or as a life partner
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It’s great that you’ve found someone to date, but it also sounds like you have a lot to figure out about your sexuality and might be moving too fast. Sexuality is complicated, so don’t rush into anything—take time to experiment and discover yourself. Check out the websites linked to here and here for information on sexuality that you might find useful as you think things through. Remember there’s no right answer, and in the end your sexuality is whatever you decide it is, regardless of who you’ve dated in the past or what other people might say.
And if you’re ever feeling like it’s all just too much to handle, remember you can always call 1-866-488-7386 and talk with a Trevor lifeline counselor about what you’re feeling and experiencing. Good luck, and feel free to write back.