Questions?

Question:

Hi, I’m 13 and I previously told my mom I was lesbian. But personally I felt it was “wrong” so I tried to make myself like boys., I told her I don’t feel that way anymore… A lot of kids used to make fun of me and call me gay but they got in trouble and stopped.. I really do think I’m a lesbian and I really only are attracted to girls (defentially the hooters one lmao) and I just want to know anything like that people say that it’s wrong to be a lesbian and a Christian… I don’t know… Well if you can explain how I can be happy and set to telling myself I am lesbian I will be defentially happy(: thank you!! -

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Answer:

I am glad you took the time to reach out as it seems you are struggling with a lot of emotions. It’s natural to question as you start to mature and explore your sexuality. You show a lot of strength in being honest with yourself about your feelings, especially in the face of opposition from the people around you. Ultimately, only you can decide what your sexual orientation or even gender expression are and those may take a while for you to discover. In trying to understand your sexuality, it might help to remember that sexual orientation involves emotional, romantic as well as physical feelings and attraction. Although other people’s opinions impact us, you need to realize you are beautiful as who you are regardless of how you dress or act or love. You are still in the process of discovering who you are and how you feel the most comfortable. Let yourself take the time to come to your own answers rather than letting someone else tell you the “right” way to act or to love.

It’s very important to know that there is nothing wrong with being lesbian and in fact, it is completely normal and natural. There are many, many lesbians who practice Christianity and continue to attend church. It might also help you to know that though some people, including certain religious leaders, may believe and teach that homosexuality is against the Bible, there are many religious leaders and members of religious communities who teach love, acceptance and equality for all of people and are supportive and accepting of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) people.

In the meanwhile, please check out Advocates for Youth (http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=730&Itemid=177) where you’ll find the brochure “I Think I Might Be Lesbian…Now What Do I Do?” or PFLAG (http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Be_Yourself_TT.pdf) where you’ll find the brochure “Be Yourself”. Please also check out the PFLAG guide “Faith in our Families: Parents, Families and Friends Talk About Religion and Homosexuality” (http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/FaithinourFamilies.pdf)

Lastly, check out TrevorSpace at www.trevorspace.org. It’s the Trevor Project’s safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24 their friends and allies. It’s a great supportive community where you can connect with others who might have had or are having the same questions that you’re having about your sexuality/gender identity.

The Trevor Project