I looked up verses in the Bible where it actually said to not have homosexual relations…IM REALLY FREAKED OUT. I’m a virgin in every way, but my first kiss was w/ a girl and I have a crush on a girl and like 5 guys. I’m pansexual but my parents are not only religious but homophobic. I’m so so scared that they’re going to throw the bible in my face-orally & literally. They’re…Not accepting of hardly ANYTHING. My mom is so so so bitter about everything but I know those are her own issues to deal w/. Im so scared. I dont want my mom and daddy to think any different of me. they thought my brother was gay a few years ago and my mom flipped and was “disgusted”. HELP?? i love God, and Jesus, I DONT WANT TO GO TO HELL. Im not even religious UGH. what the hell is going on right now
I’m glad you reached out to us for help. It must have taken a lot of courage to do so, and you can feel good that you did. But I know that you’re worried about what you have read in the Bible and what your parents attitudes are like towards gays. Trust me, you are NOT going to hell. You need not be afraid or scared of that. You just need the knowledge of what the Bible does and doesn’t say, and to whom it applies.
First off, realize that to understand Biblical verses, you must first know who is talking to whom and about what. To cherry-pick verses can lead you astray. For instance, before the Civil War, many southerners used Leviticus 25:44-45 to back up their owning of slaves. The verses in Leviticus that are used to condemn gays are 18:22 and 20:13, and are part of the jewish holy code, meant only to apply to jewish rabinical students studying for the high priesthood, in order to keep them ritually pure. That section of the Bible also contains prohibitions against eating shellfish (clams, shrimp, etc.) and the wearing of clothing of two different fabrics (like a cotton/poly shirt). None of these prohibitions apply to today’s society. The verse in the first chapter of Romans is followed by the first verse in the second chapter, wherein Paul tells the Christians in Rome that “you do the same things yourself.” What he is referring to is that they were continuing to observe their old pagan rituals, like fertility rites and temple prostitution, which Paul was telling them they couldn’t do and still claim to be Christian. Again, this situation doesn’t apply to gay people. Even the tale of Sodom was alluded to by Jesus in Matt 10:14-15, Mark 6:11 and Luke 10:10-13 when he indicated that the final sin of Sodom was that of being inhospitable to guests. All this is why Jesus told us to STUDY the scriptures, and not simply READ them.
In fact, same sex behavior has been observed in every sexual species that’s ever been observed for any length of time. This is known by just about every zoologist in the world. In the book “Biological Exuberance” by Bruce Bagemihl PhD there are case after case of same sex behavior documented in birds and mammals, and that doesn’t include other species. So same sex behavior is totally natural, even among animals. Truth is, any religion that preaches a falsehood is a false religion, as any true religion will not (and cannot) contradict proven scientific fact. So anyone preaching that being gay is unnatural is preaching a false religion. Your parents are, unfortunately, victims of being taught a false religion, and it is something that will be hard for them to realize, accept, or even change. But maybe you can help educate them, IF you approach them properly. And understand that they may not be very receptive to the message, so be patient with them. Just be more educated than they are, and they’ll have to at least respect your viewpoint.
Realize that sexuality (straight, gay, bi, etc.) is a biological happenstance, while being Christian is a belief. The two are not incompatible. Many people are, in fact, gay AND Christian, and there are churches that accept gay, bi, trans, etc. people openly. The Universal Unitarian Church (UU) and the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches (UFMCC) are just such Christian churches. You might seek them out for more guidance and support. You can also educate yourself with several books that should prove enlightening. Some are “The Children are Free: Reexamining the Biblical Evidence on Same-sex Relationships”, “Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality” by John Boswell, and “Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism” by Bishop John Shelby Spong. This last one shows that the Bible cannot be taken literally word for word, as there are many math errors and contradictions amongst the text, and taking the Bible literally word for word is the foundation of Fundamentalism.
Do not be afraid of going to hell for being gay, for Jesus once told the Pharisees, when asked what the greatest commandment of all was, that “you should love the Lord God with all your heart and soul.” And then he added, “the second is liken unto it, love your neighbor as yourself. On these are based all the laws and words of the prophets.” In 1 John 4:7, it states that love is from God, and in Romans 14:14 nothing is sinful unless you believe it is. The fact that you profess to love God and Jesus is enough to qualify you as a Christian (despite you saying you’re not religious), and assure your place in heaven with Jesus. That’s all it takes. Whom you love is irrelevant to God, just that you DO love another human being. It’s LOVE that is what is important to Him. And Jesus entire message was one of LOVE.
I believe that once you arm yourself with the proper knowledge about the Bible and what it does and doesn’t say, you will be able to stand tall and proud, and won’t be intimidated by those who believe in false religions. You will also be able to help educate others, like your family, and lead them to a more loving and accepting way of life. I have confidence in you.
The Trevor Project