I feel so lonely, unimportant to my friends. I get ditched all the time because of their boyfriends. I use to get so mad at it, but it’s like now I’m use to it, almost like its become a habit. Yes Im still sad because its like I feel they don’t need me anymore. There are times when I want to ask my friends, “You have your boyfriend, what do you still need me for?” They don’t understand why it made me mad, I’ve told them why, but they always think I’m being ridiculous. They deny they do it, but I see it all the time, and they don’t. I feel so unimportant. What do I do?
As always, thanks for writing us!
Feeling lonely and unimportant must be really hard, and I commend you for trying to find a way to cope with your feelings.
Though some things often overlap, friendships and romantic relationships both provide very different benefits. As such, a friend – whether that might be your friends now our friends to come – will never replace a boyfriend, or vice versa. It may sound a bit cheesy, but your friends will always need you in a way that only a friend can provide.
However, it sounds like the friends you have currently are moving in a different direction, which is understandably difficult. If you feel that you’ve expressed your feelings to them in the best way you know how to, and they still aren’t reacting in a way that makes you feel comfortable and loved, perhaps you might take some time to focus on the things that you want to do. In the process, maybe you’ll find a new group of friends who understand you a bit better…
Regardless, please don’t give up hope. As time goes on, you’re friends now will learn to value their friendships more, and you’ll learn to find friends that better suite you. In the meantime, think about checking out TrevorSpace, a place with like minded people all going through similar things right along side you.
All the best,
The Trevor Project