what sexual orientation would i be

Question:

Dear Trevor,
Pretty much my whole life i have been with guys, but I’ve always been into girls, ive always thought they were so pretty. Well, i decided to just do it, so i slept with one girl, and i liked it. I find myself more attracted to guys, but i want to do stuff with girls too — just not date them. What sexual orientation would i be?

Letter submitted by:

Answer:

Hi,

I am very glad that you wrote. And, I am happy we can be here for you. It sounds like you are dealing with a really tough situation. It so hard to figure out who you are, what you like. Even though this can be confusing and difficult, it sounds like you are doing a really good job of handling it so far.

It can be really hard to figure out what, and who you like. Sometimes it’s not about whether it’s a guy or a girl, but who the person is. For a lot of people, if you like the person, it sometimes doesn’t matter whether they are male or female. If you aren’t sure what you like -there’s no rush! You don’t have to figure it out right away, and you don’t need to pressure yourself to make a decision. And, until you have experimented with relationships with either a guy or girl, it will be hard to figure this out. Give yourself some time to think. Don’t worry about telling people until you have it figured out yourself. It might help you figure all of this out if you talked to someone who you trusted. Maybe a close family member – like an older cousin or aunt or uncle, or maybe a teacher or guidance counselor at school. Really, just anyone you trust and feel you can confide in. The answers will all come from you, but it can really help just to have someone to talk to about all of this. Give yourself time to figure it all out.

Whatever gender and whoever you decide that you are attracted to, there is nothing wrong or weird about it. It’s totally normal to like guys or girls or both. And, you’re smart enough to know that the people who criticize you for that are the ones who are wrong.

I want to let you know that we are here to talk, anytime you want – 24 hours a day, every day. We would love to talk with you and help you through this. The number is 866-4-U-Trevor (866-488-7386). If talking isn’t your thing, we also have an instant messenger chat, which you can talk in real time with us. That’s available through our website (TheTrevorProject.org). And, we also have something called TrevorSpace.org which is kind of like a Facebook but just for lesbian, gay, bisexuals, transgender and questioning young people, up to age 24. And it’s moderated, so it’s a safe place to chat with people your age who are going through similar situations and may have good advice on how to deal with them. If you want to find out some more about bisexuality, check out these two sites: bisexual.org/resources and: biresource.net

I hope that you this helps you. Like I said, I think you are doing a great job of handling all of this. I hope you give us a call sometime.

Your friend,

Trevor