So my friend Marissa, she and I were fighting via text last night. She kept saying all she did was take sympathy from me and she said I didn’t trust or believe in her, because I told her about the Trevor Project. I said I loved her and she would never understand, but she said she did because she loves me in the same way. After three hours of texting, we established that we both want to be together, but we have boyfriends.. mine said he’d only ask me out if Marissa asked another guy out, and she did because she thought she was making me happy but she wasn’t.. and now we don’t know if we want to break up with them and be together or what. And neither of us have feelings for our boyfriends, I considered mine as my brother before he asked me out. We really want to be together, but she’d wanna keep it secret, also..
Thank you very much for having the courage to write your letter. It can be confusing to explore your feelings, especially when they involve someone who is your friend. Both you and Marissa have boyfriends which adds another level of complexity with your emotions. It sounds like you are having good conversations with Marissa and being honest about how you feel about each other and supporting each other. While it might feel like you should make a decision right away, you really have time to think and process and talk more about what’s going on. There is nothing you or Marissa have to d0 right now. The feelings you have for each other are natural and normal. It’s important for you to feel comfortable and for you to be safe as you explore who you love and have feelings for.
You will figure it out for yourself in your own time, but please don’t be afraid to talk with a teacher, counselor or family member you trust to support you as you continue to think about it. It’s important you have someone besides Marissa to talk to about what you are going through. She should have someone besides you to talk to as well. Sometimes having someone not directly involved can provide a good sounding board. Above all else, please remember you are a strong woman who knows when to ask for help.
You are not in this alone. Please reach out to Trevor anytime through The Trevor Lifeline at 866-4-U-TREVOR, TrevorChat, and TrevorSpace. Trevorspace at www.trevorspace.org can be particularly helpful. It is the Trevor Project’s safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people and their friends and allies. It’s a great supporting community where you can connect with others who might have had or are having the same questions and feelings you are having about your sexuality.” We are always here for you.