Dear Trevor , my name is rias and i'm gay , i'm 16 y.o i'm in high school all seems cool around me but since when i get raped by 10 guys everything is changing know and everyone in my school knows that so ... i don't know what to do no one likes me . i lost my friends even my best friends and i was rejected for the 3rd time by the one that i love and still love him i don't know what to do everyone is looking at me that look and i wanna die i tried to have some sleep and i can't it's just a bad dreams that will never end i tried to kill myself for the 2nd time but i can't run away from this ..... i have a bad grades beacause of this it's taking around my head i can't stop thinking of it beacause everyone call me names and so one ... all i want is a happy life out of this bad memories just like reborn again. Just please i wanna kill myself tell me what to do ? help !
Signed,
Rias, 16, constantine CON

HI Rias, We are very concerned about you and your well being. Rape is a crime. That was a horrible experience. BUt, know it was not your fault. Being gay is not a reason to violate someone the way that group of horrible people treated you. No one deserves that. You certainly did not deserve that. You are experiencing symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress DIsorder. All of the recurring dreams, the difficulty in sleeping, the feelings of suicide are part of the results of being attacked. I do not know if reporting the rape to authorities will help you. From what I know, Algeria is a very difficult place for LGBT people. From what I understand, homosexuality can lead to imprisonment and fines. Reporting the rape may bring more pressure to you. Many times, when a rape is reported, the person who was raped becomes the subject of scrutiny. It is extremely unfair. I have located a few online reources for LGBT people in Algeria. The website says that you need to be careful when seeking assistance. http://www.starjack.com/qmr.html Being sexually abused can be devastating and can affect you in many ways including psychologically, emotionally and physically. It can make it difficult for you to trust people, cause you to have trouble understanding that you have the right to control what happens to you and cause you to experience flashbacks (when memories of past traumas feel as if they are taking place in the current moment) to the abuse. Sexual abuse can affect your self-esteem and your intimate relationships. It can cause you to experience symptoms of depression including feeling sad and down for more than two weeks, sleeping and eating either much more or less than usual, losing interest and pleasure in activities you previously enjoyed, isolating socially, feeling worthless, seeing everything is a negative way and having recurring thoughts of death or even suicide. You may feel guilt or shame about what happened to you but remember that you did nothing wrong and that it was the person who abused you who were wrong in what they did to you. The memories of the abuse may interfere in your ability to engage in sexual relationships which may leave you feeling frightened, frustrated, or ashamed. RAINN, the Rape, Assault, Incest, National Network is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. On their website at http://www.rainn.org/ you can learn about the effects of sexual abuse, recovering from sexual assault. Perhaps if you contact RAINN via their website, you can find other possible resources. Do you have a trusted adult, maybe a teacher, a school counselor, a close relative with whom you can confide? FInding someone to help you is important. You should not have to deal with this crime by yourself. We hope this was helpful.