Dear Trevor,

I don't know what to do or who to trust. I told my best friend (whos a guy) I was gay, and he basically said for me to get out of his life. My parents found out accidently and now they send me to therapy and think they're terrible parents. I feel like I can't trust anyone. Like nobody understands me and no matter who I turn to, they won't get it. I can't bear feeling alone anymore, and I like I'm sinking in quicksand.
Signed,
Alex, 14, Rosemount MN

 Dear Alex,
First of all, we want to thank-you for writing to Trevor. It shows that you care about your well-being and want to help make your situation better, for everyone. We’re also sorry your best friend had such a negative reaction, but that is not all that uncommon. The important thing to know is that you are loved and that nothing is wrong with you. You are a great individual and being gay is only a tiny part of you as a person; and you are not alone. We are here to help you out of your quicksand.

 

It can takes close friends days, weeks, months or even years to become okay with having a gay friend. One resource that might be good for your friend would be PFLAG, Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, http://www.pflag.org. Under “Get Support” are some great resources not only for you and your friends, but also your family. Just like you as a young person coming to terms with your own sexual orientation, your parents will also go through their own process in coming to terms with your sexual orientation. There are also some resources on PFLAG’s website that might be good for them too, like, “Our Daughters and Sons: Questions and Answers for Parents of Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual People" and “Frequently Asked Questions about GLBT People,” which, if you’re comfortable, you can share with your family members/friends to help them become more understanding and accepting of you. There is a PFLAG Chapter near you: http://www.pflagtc.com/, that might be worth checking out. One other option of support, as trust is vitally important as you grow up, is TrevorSpace, a social networking site for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth ages 13 through 24 and their friends and allies: http://trevorspace.org. It is a safe community that is moderated, so it will be safe for you.

 

We hope some of those resources help you as you being this transition in your life. There are also a few other Trevor resources that might be helpful too. We always have the free, confidential and 24-7 Trevor Lifeline at 866-4-U-Trevor. Additionally, you can come to TrevorChat for a safe conversation with one of our trained volunteers (http://www.thetrevorproject.org/chat). No matter what, know that we are always here for you and think you are amazing and beautiful.

 

Sincerely,
Trevor