Is there a way I can put myself on suicide watch?
Formal suicide watch is something that occurs when someone has already been hospitalized. PLEASE do not attempt to hurt yourself in order to get into the hospital and put on suicide watch. Talk to someone first. Do you have anyone that you completely trust in your life? A family member, friend, anyone? If so, talk to them about how you are feeling. Ask them to be your check-in, someone you can call when you are feeling the way that you do. If you do not feel that you can depend on anyone in your life right now, then please call The Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386. You will talk to someone who can listen to you and find ways to help you. As soon as you start feeling the way that you do, please call. Call as many times as you need to. You do not have to be alone through this, and there are resources to help you get to the other side.
Sometimes, it doesn't seem remotely possible that you will ever feel better and that the way you feel now is the way you will always feel. It's important to remember that when you are at your lowest, you can only go up and there are resources to help you do just that. You could try seeing if there are any therapists or support groups in your area. Talking to others that feel or have felt the way you do can offer you a different, hopeful perspective. It can also help you to socialize with individuals that share things in common with you. Unfortunately, given the way our society is, not everyone is open with their sexuality. As a result, it can be difficult to find someone in every day life that you feel akin to. It looks like there is an LGBT community center in Tampa. If you Google the Metro Wellness and Community Centers Tampa, it will pull up the website. Getting involved in activities with others we feel comfortable with can be theraputic and help cleanse and sift through some of the negativity that we may be feelings.
Stay strong and please reach out whenever you need it - whether it be to a trusted friend or to the Trevor Lifeline.