Hey,Trevor, this isn't about my sexuality, but I really need some good advice right now and your the only ones I can turn to. See, about a year and a half ago, I realized that I don't believe in the same religion as the rest of my family, who are all Catholic. I soon told my mom in a letter, as I felt like I needed to tell someone, but when we talked, it was as if she was treating it as a fase, something that would pass. A few months later, I lied and told her I'd changed, but to this day I still haven't, because I'm not going to. That's just it. I have a plan to move out of my biological family's house, for I don't think of them as my real family, house as soon as logically possible IE- when I'm 18 and finachelly stable. When I do move out, I plan on telling them- A, my religion and B, that I don't consider them to be my real family. My questions are- 1. How do I tell them about my religion? 2. How do I tell them about them not really being my family? (I'm thinking possibly a video) and 3. How can I keep in contact with the members of my family (some of my cousins) and some of my friends without them finding out? I know this is long, and horriblly misspelled, but I really hope you answer. Though I won't tell them for at least another 4 years, I'm still really freaking out about it. I hope my question is relevant to what you guys are trying to answer, as my situation is about acceptance and "coming out", only coming out about something else. I hope I haven't wasted your time. Thanks for reading. Full honars for all the amazing things that you guys do. I hope I'll be able to make a impact on people someday like you guys do. PS: sorry for hitting priority, but one time I sent in a question that was set on normal and you never answered, and I really need this answered.
Signed,
AllAlone , 14, Wendell NC
Hey All Alone, DO not worry about clickting "Priority". That is completely your call. Generally, our volunteers answer the PRIORITY letters first. We wish we could get to all the letters. Our volunteers do their best. AllAlone, as you grow into adulthood, you will begin to make your own choices. You will choose the relationships you foster and maintain. You will choose and develop your own belief systems. Some people feel comfortable with the religion in which they were raised. Others explore completely different paths to their spirituality. That is a normal part of becoming an adult. You did not give very many details on why your family does not feel like your real family. Are their specific reasons, or specific events that have left you with that desire to separate from them? Our family relationships can set a tone for the other relationships in our lives. Understanding how our family relationships enhanced and detracted from our life would serve you well. Do you have a trusted adult, maybe a school counselor, or a teacher with whom you can confide? talking will help clarify your thoughts. Once you are an adult, living on your own, you decide with whom you spend your time and energy. As you said, that time is at least 4 years away. Do you think there may be some way to bridge the gaps? HAving a clear sense of the conflicts will help you address them. In terms of telling your parents about your choices regarding relgion, again, clear concrete ideas will make them realize you are approaching this as an emerging adult. Are there certain tenets about your family relgion that do not resonate with you? Are there tenets of other religions that seem truer to you? Expressing yourslef with clarity will indicate a level of maturity and thought. Good luck....