I'm trying to come out to my friends and family but I'm afraid my Mom and Dad will react really bad.  I know my friends will be fine because one of my best friends came out as bi last year.  My dad say anyone who is attracted to the same sex is wrong and will go to hell but I believe God is forgiving and that he loves everyone and would not make someone not how he planned.  My mom and I have a strained relationship because of the way I act and I feel like she will try to kick me out.  My grandparents have accepted me and have offered me a place to stay if my parents kick me out.  What should I do?
Signed,
Alyce, 14, Spartanburg SC

 Hi Alyce,

 

Coming out to your family and friends is quite a big step in your life. It can be overwhelming, but what is most important is how you feel about it. If you feel comfortable right now, and think this is the best possible time for you to come out, that is great. Though there are fears and nerves associated with the coming out process, once completed, you are able to share your true self with your family and friends. Being able to live as your true self allows more opportunities within your life, without having to worry about who knows your "secret". 

 

It is extrememly smart that you spoke with your grandparents and that you will have a place to stay if you feel unsafe after coming out to your family and friends. Having even just one supportive person can make the coming out process simpler than if you are going through it alone. If you feel alone or struggle, your grandparents seem like they would be a good resource. It is also positive that your friends reacted well to your friend coming out as bisexual. When you feel comfortable enough to tell them, they will be a helpful source when coming out to the rest of your family as well.

 

I am sorry that your father says that. I think it is extremely wise of you saying God created everyone just how he wanted to and can love them the same. For your parents, when you feel comfortable enough to tell them, it might be helpful to practice before hand. If you are able to be confident, and positive, in coming out, the person who you are telling will understand that you are the same person. Coming out to them does not make you another peron, it actually opens the true you up to them. Trusting them enough to tell them your full truth is brave, and shows how much you value them in your life. The Human Rights Campaign's Resource Guide on Coming Out will can help guide you throughout this process. You can find that at: hrc.org/documents/resourceguide_co.pdf. PFLAG(Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) also is a great resource for you at this time, their website is: www.pflag.org.

 

Coming out is a process, Alyce. It might be difficult, but it will also change your life, likely for the better. At the time that YOU feel comfortable, coming out can be a rewarding experience. Remember, if you ever need someone to talk to we are here for you at 1-866-4-U-TREVOR, on TrevorChat, as well as TrevorSpace.